#oh sorry for no videos tumblr hates those so you guys only got the quotes 😔 still the same stuff though so it doesn't really matter sjdjdj

[what-aboutno]

An analysis on c!Owen and his behaviour throughout the Outsiders SMP series!

Some disclaimers before I go into this. There will be spoilers up ahead! I would like to warn anyone reading that this post will mention some blacklisted members from the smp because their characters play a role in showing us about cOwen.

For convenience, all the members mentioned are the characters, not the actual ccs themself. Some of this might seem all over the place, but when the characters learn random parts of themselves at different points it's bound to happen.

Owen has changed a lot as the series has progressed and many find his personality to have changed entirely towards the end, however, this isn’t really the case. When we go over his character, we can see his core values have stuck with him throughout the series, so in this post, I will go over how exactly he has changed over time and his character in general.

To make it easier, I’m gonna split it into 3 parts. Early maze days, the introduction of clearing 2, and post memories.

During the early maze days Owen establishes his character very early on. Right from the beginning, Owen arrives with the demon Rasbi. They are notably one of the three pairs that come up, with most coming up the elevator alone. The first time we see him, Owen immediately takes up a role as a protector, asking if Rasbi knows how to fight in case there is danger up ahead.

In this first section, we can also see that he acts a lot more childish and naive. He’s very emotional and easily upset by his past. He can be seen jumping on rocks with Mohwee and the others and crying on his first night over his loss of memories. The overwhelmingness of the clearing gets to him. This isn’t to say he is some weak, stupid or soft character though. 

Owen may be naive in believing things should be played in certain ways according to his rules but there are many instances where we can see he’s not stupid. First episode he can immediately recognise what knife Oeca is holding “Hey that’s a throwing knife right? No that’s a dagger” 

After getting more settled in the maze he asks about the maze’s agriculture, he mentions everyone is unarmed despite fearing the dangers in the maze. He starts asking about protection, armour, shields and notably, “So this place is safe on the inside? It's safe to walk at night?” He’s already worried for everyone’s safety here, he knows the maze is dangerous so is there anywhere that’s safe? 

Very early on his past also becomes a very important aspect of his personality. He is probably one of the first to remember anything significant about his past. By episode 2 he is getting flashbacks about how to make a bow. But he makes a javelin first, noting “I think I was a hunter. No, I was an archer. I was a hunter. I was a soldier? I was good at this.” He then proceeds to aim the javelin at Oeca’s name, because at this point he can’t fully trust Ocea. He is very quick to violence, although he doesn't want Oeca dead, he certainly can’t trust in him. 

Another important note is that Mohwee is one of the people in the clearing he respected and saw as someone with the ability to act. Which is why we get this interaction where Mohwee calls out “Owen.” and Owen replies with “yes sir”. His past even without his memories is important and ingrained enough he still acts like this, and this only continues as we go through this section.

The first time they go in the maze as a group is when Apo arrives. This is a very important moment for Owen because their first trip in the maze solidifies his personality throughout this section and maybe even the series. Oeca is shot because Mohwee was careless and brought anyone in. When the group comes back, Owen asks Graecie, “How many entrances are there to this maze?” After finding out this is the only one that opens, he refuses to let anyone get hurt again and starts blocking it off.

Trust and promises are very important to Owen here, too, because one of the key reasons he blocks off the entrance. It’s not just Oeca getting hurt, it’s the fact he promised Graecie he wouldn't go in. “I broke my promise.” He also takes Apo’s word very seriously in the mine when he tells Owen he didn’t pull the lever. Also because of this he only trusts himself to go in the maze.

When the entrance is blocked off Owen is quick to violence and threatens people if they try to get past him. After finding the old battle axe he starts using it to threaten and intimidate people. “Anyone who goes past this (the gate) i will attack”

“Anyone else that will, I will just cut down” are some of the things he says. He punches Mohwee for trying to get past him. When Oeca comes back after Mohwee’s disappearance, Owen follows him with that battle axe trying to talk.

Owen then goes on to say “I’m not looking for violence” and “I'm not collecting weapons this was instinctual (points at bow)” he doesn't want people to think he’s dangerous and he knows people are scared of him.

Even if he seems aggressive he still wants to protect others. Owen goes back in the maze to look for Mohwee after he randomly disappears on their way back. “My job is to protect people and I will do that to the best of my abilities. At every possible stage”

When Mohwee disappears Owen takes a massive risk to stay in the maze overnight to see if the gates would open. “The only thing I remember about my life Graecie, is that I was raised to protect people. That's all I remember. And I know it was dumb and stupid to go in the maze but if got us a step closer to finding Mohwee. I was willing to make that risk”

So we’ve established that Owen cares about the people in the clearing even if he doesn't trust all of them, he wants to protect them and he will do it no matter what. It's the purpose he has given himself in order to be useful.

He knows it doesn’t work how he wants it to. People are scared and wary of Owen’s protection. There are multiple instances where he tells his voices, “They don’t get it,” because he knows people don’t trust his methods. His method of control is disliked by a lot of people. 

Ori is one of the main characters to go against Owen. Owen hates this because not only does it risk the safety of others but it goes against his main purpose he gave himself. He takes this job very seriously. So when Ori goes in the maze it’s no wonder Owen becomes very violent.

“Ori I'm seriously sorry I will break your legs and I'm very close to it . Are you gonna make me. “

He doesn’t see himself to be super aggressive though “People think I'm being really aggressive when I talk like ‘oh hey if you come near me I'm gonna break your legs’ but I'm saying it in the most friendly way I can, you understand that right? I'm not trying to be aggressive with that”

“I'm saying like if you do step in here I will have to break your legs. In like a very gentle and I'm very sorry I hate to inconvenience you but I do have to break your legs.”

When Ori sneaks into the maze, Owen talks a lot about his purpose. Things like “Don't, I'll fail them. They'll kill me. My entire purpose here is to stay by this door and stop you from coming in.”

Owen hates to know he is failing the purpose he has given to himself “When I discovered I was a soldier that's what I set myself to (protecting others) but what do I have to show for myself? I have tried my hardest to protect these people. And get they look at me and tell me I'm a tyrant” “you're not in control, who are you to say what happens?”

He would do anything, even if it meant sacrificing himself. As shown before when Mohwee disappears but also as he protects the gate after the second lever gets pulled he says “I'm going to protect them if I die in the process so be it”  

Another note before this section ends is that it’s not just Ori who opposes Owen. Sillvia also talks about Owen’s method of leadership.

Sillvia about Owen: Owen I think you would be great. If not for the fact that you have a militaristic mindset. I don't want to see your leadership spiral into a place where Apo wants. Owen I fear you and I want you to know that. I actually fear you and I don't say that about many people. And ruling should not be through fear. You are a terrifying individual and to see you be in a position of power would be a slope we cannot afford or gamble slipping down. We've seen you tussle with Ori. I know you're a strong individual. You could lead us quite well but it's the risk that comes with your leadership that I am not willing to risk. 

The perception Owen has of himself differs from how he comes off. It becomes more of an issue later but we can already see this happen. 

So as clearing 2 is introduced this is what we know about Owen. He was a soldier once, he wanted to protect people in the clearing even if it meant sacrificing himself. He’s nice to others but his methods are still aggressive and violent, ready to hold a weapon to someone if needed and Owen cares a lot about trust. 

With the introduction of clearing 2 we can see how Owen changes and develops. He’s very cautious of clearing 2 members because for all he knows they could have led the creature that destroyed half their clearing in on purpose. 

Owen also faces betrayal from Apo. We know trust is something Owen values a lot. It’s mentioned in the early days, and it’s a major part of why he feels so strongly about Apo lying. During the scene where Owen faces Apo after finding he pulled the lever that killed the second, clearing his main issue with Apo isn’t the fact that he killed people. It was the fact he lied to him.

“You lied to me. Why did you do it? No no no I don't care about the lever. Apo why did you lie to me? You're my friend I trusted you. I stayed there. I held your back when oeca said it was you. I put my name on the line. Because we stood together in the mine and I asked you to swear to my face that you didn't do it. And you lied to me. Im meant to be your friend and you lied.” 

You can also see what Owen values in a person when they discuss Apo’s punishment and Owen says there's 3 main things he did

- went into maze without group consent

- pulled the lever

- he lied

Owen only adds on at the end that he left Squidney.

With all of this too we see Owen for the first time back away from the job he gave himself. He backs away from leadership, we start to see how tired Owen is from the stress of it all. His reasoning has to do with his trust being broken.

“What's the point they're all liars. This entire place is filled with filthy liars. Every single person. All I've ever done is tried to protect them”

“Forget it. I'm done. I'm don't helping people. No I'm not villain,I'm not a hero I'm nothing.

From now on there is no leader of the maze. They put me in charge. My word means nothing to them I'm done.”

“How am I meant to protect them when I try and stop them with physical force im made out to be some kind of monster. When I try to reason with them I'm made out to be soft.”  

Owen being viewed as soft has always been something he’s aware of. People tend to think because he’s kind that they can do whatever they want (sneak into the maze etc) and this perception Owen is a soft person develops. Even if he’s emotional and kind we’ve seen before in early maze days he is not soft. 

Owen tries to ignore all his problems but with it he grows more aggressive than before. His tone changes when he speaks about other people to his voices.

“To visit him would be to acknowledge he exists. And right now the last thing I want to do is consider the fact that this thing lives and breathes and eats and sleeps under my feet. The sooner he wastes away and fades into nothingness the better. I don't see a life going forward with him in it” - Owen about Apo

“The more I look around these stupid 4 walls the more I'm reminded that he that. That I trusted him.”

"he's everywhere. It's like a disease. Like it festers. The outside looks fine and you look just below the surface and it's rotting vile and it's him”

Apo: Just give me a chance.

Owen: why should I? So you can have another tick to the long list of times Owen has naively believed there is some good in the people that infests this clearing? Oeca, mohwee, Bekyamon, Magic, Graecie, Ori, you, liars. All of you.

I’m not just putting quotes here just for you to see oh trust is important! But more so for you to see that Owen changes when his trust has been broken or when he sees someone as a threat. Some of these things sound very similar to what Owen would say when he gets his memories back. Because to Owen trust and protection are 2 very important values. When that is broken he can’t be certain someone isn’t a threat. 

With this change Owen does become more aware he isn’t the most approachable person due to his methods. I do want to bring up this quote first though 

"Can I kill someone? Ive been thinking about this recently I say I'm a soldier. But I've never actually killed anyone. All my life in these 4 walls I've spoken about security and fighting and I can't remember a time I've actually taken someone's life. What if I have to. What if it comes to that I don't think I could stomach it either. I doesn't feel like me. It's not me it's not who I am. No I can't. I'll only attack this person if they do something first. And even then I'll just aim to incapacitate” 

This is an interesting quote from Owen knowing his later actions but it’s not that out of character. If we look at every flashback he’s had so far we can see the life of a soldier is not one he’s always wanted.

Owen to his dad: What if I'm not ready to be your protector? No It's what you've always wanted! What if I wanted to do something else? What if I don't want to be a soldier what about me when do I get to look out for myself.

However he is always ready to attack if he needs to, if it comes to it he would do anything to protect someone. I think that means to kill even if Owen doesn’t think so at this point. 

His notebook btw

Another note about his behavior is that because of how others view him he almost dies from the creature’s venom. Ayngel even said before Owen is more angry. Other people even though it sounds jokingly say Owen gets grumpy when people disrupt him, leading to no one but Soup to check up on him. 

When Bek comes back he doesn’t hesitate to do the things he did before. He does what he thinks is right and protects Magic by aiming a javelin at Bek. He says he’s not violent but anytime he feels like he’s in danger he pulls out a weapon. He did it when he was in Soup’s basement, he does it anytime he hears about someone potetially harming Rasbi, and he did it when he heard Oeca attacked Graecie. 

Owen in general is a fighter at heart. Even if he says he doesn’t want to kill anyone he is still ready to attack. 

Owen: this isn't you Ori. You fight. That's what you do.

Ori: what are you talking about?

Owen: you fight people. When you don't get your way you fight. You and I are the same

At the end of this section, the group decides not to go back in the maze. They had lost Squidney, Oeca, Mohwee, with the presumption that Red, Apo and Graecie were either dead or dying. Owen is tired of it all “Every Time I've tried to protect someone they've ended dead Kyle” he tries to hope but he is so tired. This tiredness also explains some things that happen when he gets his memory back. 

So to summarise before looking at Owen when he gets his memories back, this is what we know about Owen. He wants to protect his friends, he believes in trust a lot, he is both seen as more aggressive and angry these days and soft, he wants to be a good leader but other people don’t listen. Not much has changed since the early maze days, but it’s a more solid character now. 

When the reunion comes around Owen in the story has finally had a moment to think about everything that happened between him and Apo. His main regret in the series was how he treated him even if he broke his trust. 

Owen loves to contradict himself a lot but it’s a very human trait he has. He has complex feelings about Apo, and Beks and a lot of people. Yet he’ll still offer his protection to them. It’s because of this the ‘sudden’ shift in personality he has becomes very shocking to the audience. 

Since right before he sees Apo, Owen is very emotional here. Very similar to how he was in the early maze days. It’s out of his character to hope for something like seeing Apo because he knows it’s very unlikely he’ll see him again. However he gives himself this hope, one more chance. 

When Owen regains his memories the tone shift is obvious. He acts less emotional, he seems more mature. But we do need to consider this is someone who just had a lifetime of memories shoved back in his head and his core values are so strong that Owen doesn’t hesitate to act the way he used to. 

There’s lots of similarities to Owen here to the one we’ve known. Like his purpose. He sets one for himself immediately after arriving in the clearing. Even as he talks to Apo about his past he talks about his purpose

“I had a purpose once. I was useful, vital, adored. And suddenly everything changed. The world grew tired of blood shed. When all you're good for is violence, when you've been breed into a killing machine, a nation of peace will toss you aside like a spent torch”

There’s an obvious difference here right? The man we’ve watched in the maze who wanted to protect his friends just killed his best friend. This is definitely a different person right? Yes and no. Owen hasn’t changed that much, and I'll explain why after we go through some more things. But it’s important to note that this isn’t a completely new person, this isn’t something that is unexpected when we go through the information we already have about Owen. 

“I know what you are, you are everything wrong in the world has to offer. You are the amalgamation of all the gluttony and lust of humans with the evil and cunning of demons. You stand as a testament to everything vile. You are a disease on the face of this earth and I am it's curse” 

Apo: this isn't you you've changed 

Owen: incorrect, this is me. The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive. 

Owen wants protection for his friends. He goes to extreme lengths to keep people safe, so when he remembers demons as this evil creature that will hurt people for their own gain he wasn’t going to stand around and do nothing right? 

Surprising or not this is very in character for Owen if we look at everything else we have from the series. To him, he is still doing his job, the one he’s done since day 1 in the clearing. Just now the threat isn’t just the maze and the occasional person, it’s demons. 

The way Owen became a demon hunter is essential too. He used to live in comfort, and based on past flashbacks he was training to be a soldier even if he didn’t fully enjoy it. His mother was a poet and his father was a general. He had grown up hearing all about how terrible demons are, and he didn’t understand until his village had been burned down.

One negative interaction with demons had put this deep hatred in his heart for them. Before his memories returned he was ready to forgive Apo, he knew he wasn’t as dangerous as he made him out to be. But when the sudden influx of memory comes he has this past knowledge that Apo is a threat. 

Since Apo had hurt Owen before this only adds to it. Remember Owen really values trust. Apo has broken that trust in the past, so everything combined and letting go of the final restriction it’s no wonder he kills Apo. 

Despite this ‘massive personality change’ Owen has, when he returns to the clearing he still makes sure Magic is safe. He doesn't tell people about the lava rising so he wouldn’t cause panic. He still cares about these people. 

But Owen starts to view all the demons as a threat, every demon in the clearing has done something to suggest they could be dangerous. The reason Owen kills Guts is because they poisoned the food at the feast, which led to Magic being poisoned. He carries out this duty for protection

I think another thing people tend to forget about Owen is that he's been slowly breaking apart trying to fit what others want from him as seen in the last section. And it took a major toll on him. His outburst at Magic is one of the ways shown to us how much stress he’s been under. Perhaps even guilt he’s been feeling.

Magic: if you don't you're just putting everyone danger by not leading us… in there…

Owen: danger? You want to talk about putting others in danger? All of this coming from who exactly? The woman who's clearing burnt down under her leadership? The woman who lied about that previous position of leadership as she lacked the spine to correct her friend when she lied? The woman who was tied up and left for dead by that same friend? The woman who swore to protect a stranger only to them shot down in front of her? What the woman who stood still as her friend was ripped apart beside her? Oh yeah the magnitude of your failures Magic is deafening. Do you hear it? When you fall asleep at night, do you hear the screams of the dead who's blood stain your hands? How do you cope? When you find out be a good friend and let me know would you? Been looking for a way to shut them up. 

Owen does try to justify his actions to his voices even if they don’t listen. He knows people here aren’t good. He’s known this since clearing 2 was introduced, but with his memories back he feels like he has to carry on this duty by killing the threat. That’s the only way to keep people in the clearing safe right?

Owen to voices: have you stopped to think why I'm doing this? You seem so attached to these creatures, why? What good have they done? These people aren't good people. None of us good people. We're all in here for a reason. Just because you haven't taken your rose tinted glasses off to see that doesn't mean the rest of us haven't. 

Like before he won’t let anything stop him, even if it means hurting a few people. He doesn't hesitate to pull out a weapon when he hears Ayngel might know him. He can’t risk anything ruining his plans because he can’t afford to. He’s so tired. I think at this point anyone that was a major threat to him he would kill. 

Ayngel: I feel like I recognise you. You and your face from somewhere 

Owen: oh? (Starts to pull out knife from his bag)

Ayngel: I've been having this thought and it's got me thinking (Owen pulls out a knife in case)

Ayngel: actually, honestly forget it. It's all a dream and I'm overthinking

The only exception to his thinking is Rasbi. Rasbi actually hasn’t done anything wrong to him personally. She’s one of the few people that didn’t break his trust but he still kills her. Why? 

First off he doesn’t see her as the friend he wanted to protect but instead as something he protected only to kill in the end to fulfil his duty. Her sister is the reason why he ended up in the maze, so even without Rasbi directly harming Owen in any way it’s enough for Owen to kill her. I’m sure any small mistake or detail would have led Owen to killing any demon, because it only proves his thinking. 

Owen barely survives after Rasbi attacks him. So as Owen starts planning how to kill Krow he starts going a bit insane. His room is a mess, his mind is a mess and he can barely stand it anymore. We really start to see him fall apart here

Owen: this yolk is a burden is a burden I can't carry for much longer. I'm tired. I want to rest. But I took a pact, I made a promise. A glorious death is his for who his country falls and either I or they thing will have to die before I stop. 

Something that’s brought up when discussing the idea of ‘Maze Owen’ is the fact that we can see ‘glimpses’ of him in different interactions. For example when Owen and Krow go out into the maze and Owen spots Puddy he makes sure Puddy doesn’t die by keeping him away. Even if he’s aggressive in the scene the fandom interpretation is the care he has for Puddy as ‘Maze Owen’ slipped through. But It’s not out of character for him to still show care for people after his memories are returned based on everything we’ve seen.

Before ‘killing’ off Krow, Owen does say this “There's no escaping who you are” Which is really interesting since most characters he’s interacted with will tell him in the maze you can escape who you used to be. Owen knows for a fact no matter what he does in life now he will never have anything outside the maze. Because the world doesn’t need him anymore. He kills the demons as his final act of service to the world because he has nothing else to offer. 

When Krow finally comes back and Owen gets hit in the head he says to the rest of the group “I was protecting you all.” and “You don't know what they're like! You haven't seen the outside world.”

Looking at his final moments we see that everyone that Owen has cared about doesn’t trust him anymore. They don’t believe his protection was needed. He’s told that he will not get out of this cell. He’s left alone in the silence of the cell. Finally with the time to think. He starts experiencing multiple flashbacks and it makes it hard for him to think. 

We’ve seen in the past how Owen deals with multiple flashbacks. It gives him a headache or causes him pain in some cases. He also becomes really emotional afterwards. This follows the same case. Except he starts to realize some things.

Krow: I know those eyes. That glint of desperation for approval but knowing it's never coming. We're more similar than you let yourself believe you and I

(Flash back ‘i was an archer.?’ ‘i was a hunter?’ I was a soldier)

“I was a tool. Used.”

He knows he’s going to die soon and he starts to panic. The most important line he says is 

“So what now? This is it!? I deserve to die in battle. I killed them. It was what I. Its just what I was meant to do. I was trained. Should i have? I should have. I should have. I can't think inside my head, it's split in two” 

“So what voices? What was I before then huh? Was that me? Is that who people trust? People trust that one. Old Owen. Yes? It wasn't me. That wasn't me” flashback about Apo first coming up

“I can't think. I can't. They trusted him. They trusted him but not me? My head…”

After this he pleads with Magic to let him out. Owen claims “I hurt them, I hurt my friends. Rasbi, Guts. And Apo, Krow I don't know why I did those things” He pleads and cries. And he's desperate

Owen: “No magic it's me please.” 

Magic: “You kill people owen”

Owen: “It wasn't me I'm sorry. I just wanted to keep people safe.” 

Owen: “Magic please don't go… no… magic. You can't do this.”

Magic: “I can and I am” 

I think when we look at these final clips there’s a very important thing happening. Owen is separating himself from the past. He can’t understand why his friends don’t trust him. Even though nothing has changed. To him his eyes have been opened to the dangers of demons and he fulfilled his purpose. 

Why does this separation even happen? This is where we move to the final part of this long analysis and look at theories. There’s no way I can say for sure this is right or this is wrong. I can only tell you what I think based on the material already there. 

So before I go into this I have to emphasize I am not saying you can't refer to earlier Owen as maze Owen to explain Owen at different periods of his life. I'm saying when we really look at it, maze Owen doesn't exist since they're the same person. 

So what am I talking about? The concept of ‘maze’ Owen has been around for a long time. Even ccOwen talks about his character like that. The idea that just because Owen didn’t have his memories that he was some sweet, soft guy that needs to be babied is something that affects a lot on how you view him as a character. 

'maze' Owen doesn't actually exist because it's a way that Owen has come up with to justify to himself how he could have cared for demons without shattering his ideals.This is confused with Owen have distinct personalities and missing how he hasn't strayed from his ideals since the start with his idea of protecting everyone.

To separate that period of Owen's life in the maze ignores the fact that the characteristics you see in Owen post reunion are the same from before but taken to the extreme.

He's always been capable of ‘evil’'. It's the same as every other character in the series. We don't separate them like we do with Owen. Every character in the series is inherently morally gray, they do things out of desperation to survive. You can never say someone is 100% good or bad. 

Owen’s same mindset of 'I need to protect the people I care about because they're in danger now' carries through. After the reunion in his head demons are no longer part of that group he wants to protect. 

The separation of 'maze' and post reunion Owen forgets even in the post memory phase he had the ability to love like 'maze' Owen had. He released Puddy, he started a small farm, he started to relax. It's all part of him.

In his final moments he says a few important things to note. The first being "I was a tool. I was trained. Should I have... I should have." And then right after "I can't think in my head it's split in two"

It seems some take this as 'maze' Owen coming back and fighting with Owen on should he have killed Apo and the others. However rather than 'maze' Owen coming back i think it's this internal conflict he has with himself and his ideals.

Before he says this he's getting flashbacks to the early maze days where he showed kindness to demons. Something he would never let himself do in the past outside the maze. And something he would never do after he remembers it all.

Then he says to the voices "Is that who people trust? Old Owen" while those memories are playing. The voices respond saying they miss that Owen and he replies "Yes? That wasn't me" this is possibly where it further adds to the whole 'maze' Owen is a different person thing.

Rather than facing the fact that his thinking doesn’t make sense anymore he separates himself from those memories. As soon as Owen accepts that demons are not these creatures that betray and kill you at any moment, his life has no purpose.

Owen’s thinking comes from the manipulation and propaganda he's been fed. In his final episode we get these quotes which show just how much his thinking revolves around protection and also showing what years of training did to him.

He understands he was a tool that was used. He's well aware everything he is doing may not have a purpose and yet he still plays this part. He can't break away from that thinking because if he lets himself, Owen has to face the fact that his whole life had no true meaning.

That is a terrifying thing to do. He has been in this environment for so long you can’t just take him out of it. 

Going over everything you can access in Owen’s pov, we know that before gaining his memories Owen is a person that cares deeply about his friends, he risks himself to protect them, he won’t hesitate to hold a weapon against someone he sees as a threat. Owen thinks trust is an important value to have, he takes it very seriously. But we also know that not everyone likes Owen and his leadership. He’s seen with a military mindset, people don’t want to upset him and it nearly costs his life.

Now let’s compare that with the Owen we get to know after his memories return. He wants to protect the people he deeply cares about, he risks himself to protect them, he doesn’t hesitate to hold a weapon against someone that he sees as a threat, only now the threat is demons. When we start looking at these differences, yes, Owen when he regains his memories is different, his tone changes, he murders people. But those core values we’ve seen throughout the series stay with him.

It’s one of the reasons why Owen can’t understand why no one in the clearing is on his side. He protected them against the threat they didn't know about. That is his purpose, and that’s what he’s good for. Remember right at the beginning of the series Owen sets his purpose to protect these people, now this is still the same. He views demons as a threat because he hasn’t had good experiences with them. Even if Apo became his friend in the clearing, Apo ends up lying to Owen, and betraying his trust. Guts became his friend but Guts tried to poison Magic. Owen has never fully trusted Krow and that distrust only furthers once he knows what Krow is capable of based on his experiences with demons.

So let’s go back to the previous question: who was it there? You���re probably thinking well how do you explain maze Owen and the chips. ccOwen has mentioned before that it's a possibility for the chips to alter memories. Maybe Starr suppressed those memories and maze Owen was there again. Or he was hit hard on the head right? Maybe his chip was damaged and it altered his emotions and memory.

There is too little known information to us as an audience about the chips in their head. We know they can supposedly make the outsiders lose track of time, alter their memories, their emotions and change how they act. But if the chips in their head is the explanation for everything then why does Owen remember killing his friends when he talks to Magic? He says it like he wasn't the one doing it, like he watched someone else do it. How do you explain his behaviour then? If the damaged chip really made him act like that then why do flashbacks still occur when he's in prison? He seems to have no control over those, so the chip must still work fine?

I think when we look at his character the maze has already changed him whether he likes it or not. There’s more doubt in him than before. He lets Apo go with extra time. He hesitated before he ran after him. No matter how small, he has changed.

But when Owen talks about himself in the past he makes this separation. The voices in his head won't stop calling for the guy they used to know, even though he's right here. I think Owen doesn't even want to acknowledge at one point he was friends with the demons he hated so much. 

In that prison cell all his ideals and values are facing him. Everything he's done and he's known has been a lie. I think he knows this but can't bring himself to acknowledge that. Would you admit what you thought for your entire life was wrong? That you killed countless for nothing?

When faced with death Owen becomes desperate. Which I think explains his behaviour with Magic. That is his last hope and he knows people like the older version of him. I don't think he's fully lying though when he says i don't know why I did those things. Not because maze Owen came back or anything but because in the maze he no longer has this duty but he still carries it out. He's so tired from it all and he wants to leave it behind but he can't.

So let's go over his death scene one more time. “My head it's split in two” I think the explanation for this is that he was just hit with a bunch of flashbacks of his first days. Right before this he also says ‘I was a tool. Used’ I believe in his final moments where he has a moment to think he starts to fight himself. Should he have done all this for a country that throws him away the second he's useless? He was trained to do this. But should he have really? That's what I think is making him say my head it's split in two. He's fighting his own views and alongside these positive memories it makes him confused. And overwhelmed.

It's important to note Owen doesn't have a single bad flashback about Apo and Rasbi. He doesn't think about the levers, he thinks about his friends that he met. That he protected.

The more flashbacks he gets the more defensive he becomes. “I'm right here you can't convince me otherwise” He doesn't understand why the Owen in his memories is trusted so much, even though they're the same person. In his mind he's doing what he's always done. protect.

“It wasn't me I'm sorry I just wanted to keep people safe” everything he says to Magic is half genuine and half lie. I don't think even Owen knows which parts are which. It's easier if he separates himself into the nice trusted Owen and who he is now.

No matter what in the end, that was Owen. Not Maze Owen but Owen who is desperate to live. He's tired of it all. He's finished his mission and he won't even get to see what he thinks will be an honorable ending for him.

Remember what Owen says to Apo? "The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive."

So of course he'll do anything to survive even if it means playing up the truth.

It's hard to separate Owen into these neat boxes and say for sure that was Maze Owen at the end of that was full manipulation. Because like Owen everything is a bit grey here. Maze Owen wasn't the best person, he hurt his friends, people were scared of him. And post memories Owen isn't some misunderstood guy that needs babying either. 

My final thoughts on this debate is that in the end the one that pleads for his life is just Owen. To separate him and say it was Maze Owen doesn't allow you to understand how complex Owen is as a character. And continues to let you believe that Owen can't do anything wrong.  Not understanding sometimes a good person is capable of this evil. To the end Owen still believed he was doing what was right and that was protecting the ones he cared about. So has anything really changed since the start?

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

I really wonder how effectively I’ll be able to do this in 2003. In 2003, Adult Swim started doing the black and white text bumps, where they give max sass and NO EFFS (fucks), so every week had unique content. I definitely don’t have the resources to catalogue every bumper or even come up with a decent “best of”. Ephemera Corner 2003 may look very different. To quote my good friend Zorak, “Brak, do you ever think about the future?”. To this I say, yes. Yes, Zorak, I do.

BROADCAST ANOMALIES AND SPECIAL NIGHTS!

Adult Swim Action (and other stuff) | February 23, 2002

February 23rd was the first installment of Adult Swim Action. Up to this point, Adult Swim aired a block of mostly comedy capped off with Cowyboy Bebop. This was the first formal separation of Action and Comedy. I remember the bitter rivalry between the two fandoms on various message boards I posted on. It really did seem like a venn diagram with almost no overlap; action fans hated the comedy shows (maybe they liked one or two but hated the rest) and the same went for the comedy fans, except most of the comedy fans I knew were devout anime haters.

At the height of my anime animosity an internet ex-friend of mine started a message board called ANIME SUCKS. It was an experience I’ll always remember fondly. At it’s peak it had over 1000 members. All but about a dozen of those members were actually ANGRY anime fans who just stumbled on the board and were FURIOUS at us for being anti-anime, and we’d just act like obtuse dickheads about it. Like, we’d act stupider than they were and just wind them up.

We developed a few tricks to really set somebody off. For example: they’d write an impassioned defense of anime as an art form, and say something like “it’s not all like Pokemon or Dragonball Z”, to which we’d reply “actually those are the only two animes I like”. This really got them. There was a special thrill to just replying “miyazaki is an idiot” to a guy’s 6-paragraph essay about why anime was “good, actually”, prompting an even longer response. It was really fun! We didn’t have to harass people online, they’d just come to us to get abused. I’ve never seen bait get taken so effortlessly. One day that guy just closed the message board, locked everyone out, and disappeared forever.

That was some aside, huh? Anyway, the arrival of Adult Swim Action meant that Adult Swim stopped airing the Thursday night repeats of Adult Swim Comedy, which was a shame. It Also meant Adult Swim’s Sunday night had an extra hour to fill, which they did with Rocky & Bullwinkle and the Popeye Show. People complained. I didn’t. Vintage animation is just a different take on the “adult” label. Besides, I was used to tuning out by 12AM anyway, so even if I didn’t like those shows (I did!) I wasn’t missing anything, really. But yes, if it were a full hour of Space Ghost repeats I guess that would’ve been better.

The Lewis Lectures | May 19, 2002 - 12:45 AM

A repeat of Lewis Lectures? IT HAPPENED! But what was so different about this broadcast of Lewis Lectures? Well, they accidentally scrambled the SAP audio with the default English audio, causing the Spanish soundtrack to play in tandem with the English one. It was bloody well fucked mate. This is simply no longer England.

I remember becoming an Adult Swim completist and taping this, considering it some kind of void in my collection. Part of me wishes I saved the recording, so I could combine it with the inferior YouTube rip currently up and have a closer-to-pristine copy than the one that’s available. But also, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS LEWIS LECTURES WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. How much pain can I inflict on myself?

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Mini-Marathon | September 15, 2002 - 11:00 PM

On this night they aired a little Harvey Birdman marathon of the 4 episodes. This was kinda baffling, as Birdman had 6 episodes to its name and they’d been repeated into the ground by this point. I guess it goes to show that Adult Swim kinda considered Birdman to be their prestige program. I’m hard-pressed to call any one Adult Swim show “smart” in a way that’s apparent on a shallow level. Birdman is set in a courtroom, animated the most competently out of all their other shows, and involved cultural references in a showy way. Like, Space Ghost having Dave Willis absurdly shout “UP THE CHAIN” in the background of a Space Ghost episode is almost just a weird easter egg. But Birdman? Birdman was name-dropping Hanna Barbera characters the same way Frasier would talk about whatever gay shit Frasier talked about.

They aired The Dabba Don, Shaggy Busted, Shoyu Weenie, Very Personal Injury in that order. I would’ve swapped Shaggy and Shoyu and for Bannon Custody Battle and Death by Chocolate, but that’s just me, I guess.

Adult Swim New Years Bash hosted by Carl and Brak | December 31, 2002 - 11:00 PM

Adult Swim officially ended 2002 with this: a night hosted by Carl and Brak in Times Square, watching the ball drop (which was FREAKING MEATWAD!!!!). I remember this night fondly. Unfortunately I can’t find the whole thing, but here’s a single segment I found on vimeo to give you some idea. I think I had it up at one point and Turner very annoyingly had it taken down.

I used to have this massive physical media collection; stuff on VHS and DVD and DVD-R that was meticulously catalogued. I ditched a lot of it in favor of digitizing stuff like this, eternally keeping it on hard drives that I meant to back up but never did. It seems more convenient, but it isn’t. If this were 2003 and I needed to show you this, I would be able to retrieve it from one of my many shelves. I might still have this, but would have no idea where to look for it and it would probably involve me getting in my car and going out to my storage unit and pulling every single box out. I turned it into ones an zeros and stuck it on a nondescript black box that could very well be dead. And now it’s not even on YouTube. Sad? Sure, it’s sad.

PEAK EPHEMERA

(phrase stolen from Grifthorse podcast)

Hey, here are some videos I found on YouTube in case you wanna go down a wormhole of watching old Adult Swim commercial breaks. May the gods of posterity keep them online forever:

February 4, 2002

Spring 2002

June 16, 2002

June 30, 2002

July 27, 2002

August 2002

November 17, 2002

November/December 2002

MAIL BAG:

This ends EPHEMERA WEEK. We’ll do actual episodes soon!

What's the scariest thing you seen on adult swim?

I don’t know if I have a real answer for this. I don’t think I actually get scared by stuff in movies or TV shows. I can’t even come up with a funny answer. Remember the end of that Metalocalypse episode where the little sick girl is dead and her eyes turn into maggots and you hear that screechy voice was like I’M DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!! I’ll just go with that even though it made me laugh really hard

Ever watch Limmy's Show

I am content just being vaguely aware of Limmy (no, I never watched his show. Seems good).

Please don't do such a big mailbag. I couldn't believe how many r-words wrote inane bullshit to you. Let keep this blog about the real stars: Master Shake, Space Ghost, Brak, Zorak, Meatwad, Frylock, Debbie, Black Debbie, Carl, Sparks, Stormy, Hesh, Moltar, Harvery Birdman Captain Murphy, Dr. Quinn, Paula, Marco,  Brendon, Jason, Melissa, The Mooninites, the Plutonians, Peanut, Coach Mc Gurk, Mentok the Mindtaker, Virjay, Antoin, Colby, Trotter, Adair WE ARE THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE :)

I can’t believe this IDIOT doesn’t get that by typing such a long message he very IDIOTICALLY contributed to the length of the Maili Bag... LMFAO, what a IDIOT

This is maybe the funniest blog on tumblr. You really think these nasty little cartoons are special, huh?

Hey than-- oh :( Yeah, I guess so :(

would you like master shake if he did the whole thing

I’m sorry what

[foreverfangirlalways]

The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 11)

Summery: Logan and Virgil go have dinner at Mr. Sanders place, and then they have a sleepover date.

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: fear, sad Logan moment

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

(I am soft for flirty, blushing boyfriends; and time is just a construct 😂 If you don’t like kissing, flirting, and cuddling, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER! Ok, thank you 💜)

—-

As soon as Logan finished his last lesson and organized his classroom, he headed home and jumped into the shower.

He had texted Virgil Mr. Sanders address, and they had decided that to would be best if Virgil was the one to drive them to the dinner, especially since they will be having their sleepover date right afterwards!

They had decided that the sooner the better, and they both have off tomorrow. Also, Virgil offered up his house for the date.

That meant that Logan has approximately 47 minutes to shower, get dressed, and pack a bag. Once he tied his tie, he started packing. Everything was going so well, that naturally he had no idea what pajamas to pack.

Shorts? No.

Flannel? Too plain.

Unicorn Onesie? Too soon in the relationship for that.

He was stressing, and shoved through his drawer. No, no, no, n-... wait.

He held up the pajamas and grinned. These are perfect! He refolded them and placed them in his duffel bag.

“There. That is my charger, toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, change of close for tomorrow... yep! That’s everything. And in perfect timing because Virgil just texted that he is 5 minutes away.

Logan pocketed his phone, grabbed the duffle bag, and then did one last check in the mirror. He straightened his tie, and then walked out.

Virgil drove up, and Logan tossed his bag in the backseat, hopped into the passenger side, and kissed Virgil on the cheek. Virgil hid a smile and told his ‘stupid flirty boyfriend’ to buckle up.

-_-_-_-

Mr. Sanders is a very gracious host. He made some awesome quesadillas, and asked to be called Thomas. He busted out laughing when Virgil said, “Of course Mr. Thomas.”

“Virgil, buddy, while I love how polite you are, there is no need.” Virgil just kinda nervously laughed to himself. “Sorry, I just feel like I am meeting a parent, and I want to impress you.”

“That’s very sweet,” Thomas chuckled. “I’m glad you think that I hold so much sway over Logan, but you have nothing to prove to me. I have approved of you since Logan first called me out of the blue and started spiraling about this guy that, quote unquote, ‘is so good looking that he suddenly made me remember how gay I am.”

Logan looked away blushing while Virgil smirked at him. “Oh really? You thought that?” Logan rolled his eyes, trying to gain control of the situation.

“Virgil, I still think that. There is a reason that I asked you to be my boyfriend.”

“Oh really?” Virgil smirked, parroting his last statement. “And here I thought it was just because I can make a bomb bouquet.”

“That was a small part too.” Logan said, smiling and holding his fingers to show how small.

“Speaking of that, I never got to see the bouquet, may I see a picture?” Virgil lit up at Thomas’s question. “You can! And if you are interested, I can even show you a video of Logan punching Michael!”

Both just stared at Virgil. Thomas looked at Logan. “You punched someone?” Logan nodded, still looking at Virgil.

“Yeah, he tried hurting Virgil. How did you get a video?” Virgil took out his phone. “I was texting Elliot yesterday and apologized for not getting a video or picture of Michael getting punched. He laughed and then goes, ‘oh? Haven’t you heard?’

It turns out that Zoe, one of your old coworkers and a fellow member of the ‘I hate Michael club’ was at the Party. She saw that he was harassing me, and apparently decided to record the situation incase Michael tried blaming me. Also, apparently #pushMichealoutawindow is trending on tumblr.”

Logan was dumbfounded and Thomas busted out laughing. “Well I have to see it now!”

Virgil first showed him the bouquet, and gave the definition. After Thomas finished laughing and telling Virgil how good a job he did, everybody watched Logan punch Michael and protect Virgil’s honor. After the video was over, everyone sat back down. There was silence for a bit before Thomas spoke.

“Wow, Logan.” Logan looked at Thomas, terrified of what he thought.

“I can explain, see-“ Thomas held up his hand, interrupting Logan. “Logan, I have never been more proud! I have to say, that is a great left hook.”

Virgil and Thomas laughed at the shocked look on Logan’s face. “You’re... you’re proud?” Logan asked in a shaky voice. Virgil immediately grasped Logan hand. “Of course I’m proud of you Logan. You protected your boyfriend and stood up for yourself. I think you are doing amazing things with your life.”

Logan hide his face, trying to not let it show how much Thomas’s words affected him. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, and he turned into his boyfriends embrace.

“Thank you Thomas. You have no idea how much that means to me.” Thomas smiles and ruffles Logan’s hair.

“It’s no problem buddy. Now, how about some ice cream?” Logan nodded and Thomas went to go get the treat. Virgil fixed Logan’s hair, and Logan just blushed and leaned his face into Virgil’s hands. They smiled at eachother and Virgil kissed Logan on the top of his nose.

They heard a click, and turned around to see Thomas standing in the door way, holding 3 pints of ice cream stacked on top of eachother in one hand and his phone in the other.

Logan buried his head in Virgil’s chest. “Why does everyone take pictures of us kissing?” Thomas looked intrigued.

“Everyone? I think I need to hear this story too.” Logan simply squeezed Virgil tighter and Virgil laughed. “How about that ice cream, huh?”

-_-_-_-

After talking about stalkerish friends, showing more pictures, and telling a few more stories, Logan and Virgil bid Thomas a good night.

“Y’all have a good night too, and don’t be afraid to come back! I love theses chats, and Virgil, I took the liberty of putting my number in your phone, so don’t be a stranger! Also, I changed your lock screen.” Thomas winked the shut his door. Virgil took out his phone and laughed at the picture on his screen. Logan looked at the picture and started chuckling.

The picture was of Logan and Virgil, embracing, with Logan looking at Virgil in adoration as Virgil kissed the tip of his nose.

“I have to say,” Virgil said, putting his car in reverse. “Thomas is very sneaky, and I had a lot of fun. Besides, that is my new favorite picture.”

Logan laughed and got out his phone. “I have to say, while your screensaver is undeniably adorable, I think I still like mine the best.” Logan said, and smiled down at the picture Roman took while spying on them, of Virgil, arms wrapped around Logan and standing on the balls of his feat, kissing him.

Virgil glanced at the picture on Logan’s lock screen, and smiled. “I like that one too. I have to say, I love how both of the pictures are of me kissing you.”

Logan laughed, and gladly accepted the opening. “Well, I’ll just have to fix that, huh?” Virgil blushed at Logan’s implication.

“No distracting the driver.” Logan laughed, but kept quiet until Virgil pulled into his driveway.

Virgil unlocked the door while Logan got his duffle bag. Virgil was toeing off his shoes, and Logan shut the door, wrapped his arms around Virgil, whispered ‘honey I’m home’, then kissed him on the cheek.

Virgil giggled and playfully shoved Logan. “The reason all those pictures are of me kissing you is because you keep missing.”

Logan smiled mischievously, and Virgil just shook his head. “Go get your pajamas on Mr.” Logan raised his hands in surrender and asked where the bathroom is. After being told, Logan nodded, quickly kissed Virgil, then ran to the bathroom to change.

Virgil just shook his head at his boyfriend antics and went to put on his pajamas. One he was done he walked into the living room and laughed. Logan looked up and started laughing as well.

“Well, this has got to be a sign.” Logan said, gesturing to his NASA themed pjs and Virgil’s galaxy themed ones.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, still giggling. “It looks like great minds really do think alike.”

Logan plugged up his phone, set his duffle bag on the floor, and looked at Virgil. “So, what do you want to do first?”

“Well, I found some documentaries on the history behind the constellations, so we could watch that.”

Logan agreed and they both sat on the couch while Virgil pulled up the movie. Virgil turned off the light, and handed Logan a blanket.

Logan accepted the blanket, and pulled Virgil next to him. Virgil looked at him with a raised eyebrow but was smiling.

“What?” Logan asked. “Did you think I was going to watch a constellation documentary without cuddling my constellation clad boyfriend?”

Virgil blushed and cuddled up next to Logan. They stayed like that, cuddled and giving commentary, for two documentaries.

After the second documentary ended, Logan looked down at Virgil. “I vote target practice next.”

Virgil sputtered and hid his face in his hands. Logan chuckled. “If you don’t want to-“

Virgil peaked out from behind his hands. “I never said I didn’t want to, you are just... incredibly flirty.”

Logan busted out laughing. “Oh starlight, I am only flirty with you. And I like to keep away from PDA, so I mainly rely on words in public. Which work wonders on you and I get to see your adorable blush.”

Virgil blushed, proving Logan’s point. “Stupid flirty boyfriend” Virgil mumbled while smiling.

“Correction,” Logan said, leaning closer to Virgil. “YOUR stupid flirty boyfriend.” Logan muttered against Virgil’s lips, and then kissed him.

“Yay!” Virgil said afterwards. “You didn’t miss!” They both laugh. “I think you need some more practice though...”

They kissed for a while, and then they got back to cuddling and watched The Black Caldron.

Around midnight they both fell asleep, wrapped in eachother arms, and completely content.

-----

( I hope you liked it! I’m having so much fun writing this! And #pushMichaeloutawindow is an actual thing 😂)

Taglist-

@dragonwithproblems

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@kawaiikat54

@thefingergunsgirl

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@aleiimm

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

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@moose-boi

@resident-trash-goblin

[thurisazsalail]

I’m tired of ‘leftist’ anti-intellectualism and America-centric xenophobia posing as liberalism.

Protip: If you are anti-academia on subjects of culture not being taught by someone genetically from that culture, even if they know nothing about the culture they are talking about and have never participated in it and were never raised with it... over someone who actually does have a background in knowledge from people of that culture who lived in it and were raised in it... you might actually be the imperialist you are talking about fighting against. You might actually be silencing the people you think you are elevating through deplatforming actual sources from the cultural background talked about, artificially holding up someone with the right genes but no heritage or ties. You might want appearance over substance to be a “good person.” Rethink your views on academia. Think critically. What sources is a person using? Does a person talk about Africa like it's a country and not a continent (ew), or does the person have a list of resources about specific cultures as spoken about by the people from those cultures? Do they make effort in finding anyone from that culture to present or speak in class, if possible? Do they show videos of those people, which are not denigrating to them? Did the person work hard to find resources for you in a language you understand, or did they work to translate for you? Or are their resources some old white dude from 200 years ago, like using the Budge translations for (ancient) Egyptian? Did they quote Fiona Graham or Liza Dalby on geisha? Because of those people is a damn liar who took a fucktonne of money and prestige from an ailing geisha house and ran, and one actually trained as an anthropologist who spent time in Pontocho, where they knew exactly what she was there for and they suggested she debuted as a geisha to better understand them. Does the person gloss over issues like war or genocide? Or do they say, "Yeah, we should probably talk about that. In fact, you can use some example from recent history to understand the attitudes a bit better. Here they are, and here are some differences. Here are some further reading (and if available, video) sources, including from the groups that got really fucked over." If you SAY you are into historybounding (taking historical elements in your wardrobe and making it ‘new’ fashion) and you want to make the frilly French dresses and the London fog coats, but don't ever want to talk about how people eventually used the Versailles floors as a latrine because of the decadence and wanton wealth they collapsed into... and how the common people suffered because of it... Or how England discriminated against it's own people heavily, relegating Jewish English people to certain neighbourhoods or refused jobs to them, or treated the Moorish-descent like shit, or actively would beat the Irish in public and stole their land... you might not be into history or culture. You might just like looking at the pretty things and copying them. You know. Probably culturally appropriating (if not borderline doing so). Not just "history bounding." People in a marginalised group often have to learn things about our own groups’ history, or else we might see "Stonewall" and believe that a white guy threw the first brick, or that "queer" is a slur. Our own people, gasp, might have to learn from... academia. And strangely, I know, it's so weird, but some of the people who teach... use primary sources (that’s sources from the time/place/people the source talks about, like Gay Manifesto written by gay man Carl Wittman)... or are closeted about being experts on the subjects... because they are talking about their own groups and STILL face discrimination and might lose those precious jobs if they are out... and they're just not identifiable by your *outsider* standards. And sorry, but if you don't know your own history, yes, you are an outsider in that sense. Yeah, I can trace some of my family lineage to Turtle Tribe Seneca. But I am an outsider because the only reservation I've ever been on is the one to Olive Garden. I might have to *gasp* turn to actual knowledgeable people to learn something about that. I can't just dress up in whatever or do whatever and say, "No, it's okay! My great-grandmother is Seneca!" and then claim not knowing better because my heritage was stolen by federal American laws. That's not how that works. There is some tentative evidence that some of my family was Jewish before hiding it and coming to America in the late 1930s. But I still have to go through an official conversion process. I still have to learn Jewish history and Jewish culture, and about Jewish diaspora issues. That’s how it works. If you are Japanese in Japan, same thing applies to certain things. Like if you are performing tea ceremony with your school, you can’t just wander in to most of them with whatever pretty kimono you want. There are rules for that. It is a language, not just a dress. You will be sent home. If you don’t want to adhere to those rules, you will not be accepted. That’s how it works. It sucks, totally. But welcome to real life. You might have to actually work at things... Including managing your feelings and not making other people responsible for them. You might have to take responsibility AND bury your ego long enough to learn from educated people. One tip is... Question sources! That was my biggest gripe ten years ago! Plenty of books about Japanese culture, and all of them with lots of white people (white according to American-centric ideas about whiteness) writing the narrative! I had to work to find books about Japanese social ideas written by Japanese authors. You might have to work, too, and not blame other people for not just *handing you shit.* But in the end, accept that other people might know more than you and that is isn't about being Uppity by nature. It's also about "I have all this, you want some?"

If you don't want to learn, then you have to leave the classroom. You can't be a child, throwing a temper tantrum. You're a grown-up. But don't just assume by someone's face that you magically already know how things will be. Ask for a list, a syllabus, a source, a curriculum vitae. That should give you some insight on what to expect. Ask for clarification. Oh, this class is teaching Arthur Conan Doyle? WHAT are they teaching about him, specifically? Erasure isn’t the answer, here. That legacy still exists.

Stick to a scope: you can't fit six books of info in one hour. You need to stay focused. That's part of learning. No "whaddabouts?" Yes, write them down and message them in! But they might not be for this specific post, lecture, or class. The class might need a thing right then, like when my Humanities prof decided that Britain just "had a skirmish" with Benin. No, they committed genocide because Benin refused to become a colony of England, and you need to know that RIGHT NOW while the class is happening, before the moment is gone or internalized. But if you have a side comment about what happened to diaspora in WW2 once they moved to Hawaii and Brazil, the focus of the class might be on experiences *in Japan* and not on diaspora. Email it. It might become another class. There isn't time for that right now. That doesn't mean the prof hates diaspora Japanese. It doesn't mean diaspora don't matter. It just means that the class is limited in focus and time, and right now, the focus isn't on diaspora. Don't make a big dramatic deal about it. Instead, idk, maybe write a well-sourced paper on diaspora experiences while fleeing hostile Showa-era takeover and release it publicly. You can just... do that. I've done that with transcripts for movies that don't have them, for essays on various topics. You can even get paid for that content! No one had to "approve" me. I put it on fucking Tumblr so everyone could have it. Open-source means something. jfc people. Stop whining. Start having open conversations instead of shutting anything new or different down. Stop the anti-intellectualism disguised as liberalism. Stop the xenophobia and nativism disguised as cultural protection. It's great when a culture decides for itself that most people (from that culture) don't want foreign interaction or interference! Leave them the fuck alone! It isn’t hard! Some cultures are closed. Some are semi-closed, like there’s certain things you can learn about or participate in but others are only for people from that background. But don't get mad when a totally different culture doesn't care or uses it for leverage. You don’t get to dismiss a different culture or denigrate them under the guise of “protecting” other POC by erasing them. And if your excuse is (Culture/group) is imperialistic/all people of ____ descent/race are _____ DUDE FIRST OF ALL WTF and second of all, let me tell you something about American history. French history. English history. There are some nuanced conversations we COULD have here, like adults. Or you could just be honest and say, “This isn’t a conversation I’d like to have right now.” That’s totally fine. Sometimes you just don’t have the spoons or time. I often don’t, being disabled. Or you could shut down like a child and say that this is fine but then mute all posts until you get your way, and anyone who posts an actual source is wrong or bad because intellectuals and experts are suspicious. Your choice. Real life is complicated. Figure it out instead of trying to reduce hard things to a box to fit in easily. Expand your world past your little tiny experiences in your own country and background. Stop assuming every fucking thing in the world works like it does in America. Stop approving/disapproving of any information that doesn’t match up with your American morality or experiences- there are *other people* that deal with things other ways than we do. Stop wholesale condemning anyone better informed than you just because of your ego. Start using some of those critical thinking skills you are supposed to have. If you don’t know how, type “critical thinking development” into youtube for tutorials. -------- Edit: hahaha I KNEW that Tumblr deleted something when it highlighted it. I just couldn’t figure out what at the time. The difference between Graham and Dalby: one worked in Pontocho as a geisha for research, and they knew that ahead of time; Graham lied her ass off to geisha and then tried to open her own house after taking only a few lessons to get famous and make a lot of money. She’s a fucking embarrassment and worse. --------------- Update 11/3 Turns out that dig I made about French costuming (a perennial fave in historybounding and historical sewing groups) and imperialism wasn’t all that far off... here’s a whole ass thread about how many fucking African presidents and leaders France has specifically killed, and how much France has done to just Africa relatively recently. That’s JUST to Africa. I bet some of my Mi’kMaq and Algonquin-descent friends would have some things to say about heritage erasure regarding the French.  https://thurisazsalail.tumblr.com/post/633807847387512832

[blue-bismuth]

Case #0161210

i have been egged on to post this so! here’s what i consider my tma oc’s first real involvement with everything going on. it’s formatted like a statement but pretty much everything else i post here about them will be in my more traditional writing style

tws: mentions of trans/nbphobia, people acting uncanny, animal harm/death (no pets), kidnapping, cannibalism

EDIT: here’s the ao3 link if you wanna read it there!

-- -- --

Avery

You’re sure this isn’t too much of an inconvenience? I-I don’t have to talk about it. You probably still have more statements to get through.

Archivist

If you ask me that one more time, I won’t take statements from you ever again.

Avery

Christ, alright, I’ll stop. At least I won’t get in trouble, ‘cause I got everything assigned to me done already…

Archivist

Aren’t you fast.

Avery

It’s a blessing and a curse. Curse in that I get chewed out if I’m caught fucking around on the office computer.

Sorry, sorry, getting off topic. I’ll make the statement now.

Archivist

Statement of Avery Linwood, a finance worker in the Magnus Institute, regarding their time living in the rural town of Crestfallen, between the spring of 2014 and the summer of 2016. Statement taken direct from subject, December 10th, 2016. Statement begins.

Avery

Man, okay. So, as you can probably tell, I’m not from England. I was born and raised in America, Wisconsin to be specific. I graduated college in 2009 because I had to get 150 credits to qualify for CPA exams--although I guess in the end it did jack shit, ‘cause I only ended up staying in the U.S. for five years. 

Archivist

Sorry, could you clarify what a CPA is?

Avery

Oh! I-it stands for Certified Public Accountant. It basically means that I can provide accounting services to the public alongside working for companies. And since I’m here now instead of my home state, I have to do continuing education if I wanna keep that license active. I guess it makes sense, but it’s still extra work, y’know?

Sorry, getting off topic again. I feel like that’s gonna be a theme for this statement.

Archivist

I’ve had my fair share of ramblers. I’m guilty of it too.

Avery

I mean, still. Anyway, that shit kinda drove me into the ground. I never managed to get enough money to rent a decent office space so I could be independent, and the closest I ever got to that was working in assurance services. I would’ve stayed in forensic accounting, but every office I was in had a terrible culture. One of my ex-bosses told me that I, quote unquote, “had too big of a rack” to be anything but a girl. So...yeah.

Archivist

And I assume this is why you left?

Avery

Pretty much. I wasn’t too keen on moving anywhere inside the U.S., everywhere was either too bigoted or too expensive or too crowded...you get the picture. I guess I just wanted something different, something where I didn’t need to sit in an office all day and handle people’s taxes or whatever. I’ve always loved those kinda video games where you move to some old farmhouse and clean it up, start taking care of crops and livestock, making friends with the townspeople...it was a form of escapism I could never really afford--honestly, unless you’re a big dairy farmer, you’re not gonna get anywhere stable in Wisconsin. 

I don’t know how I found my way to Crestfallen. I think I saw a post on Tumblr about how, if you promise to restore an ancient castle--the ones that’re all over Europe--you can live in it for free, and there was a link to some website where you could register to do that. I guess it held more than castles, though, ‘cause I saw a section for old farmhouses. The one in Crestfallen was the cheapest, and apparently I would even get a financial reward from the mayor if I helped out enough. It was a moment of weakness, I guess.

I don’t tell my parents a whole lot of stuff anymore unless they ask, but I felt the need to tell them I was moving to a different country. They must’ve seen it as odd, but they knew I wasn’t doing too well in my...current line of work. They gave me their well wishes and I left for England.

I guess the first thing that tipped me off was getting there. I didn’t think anything of it, but when I told the bus driver--coach driver for you guys--where I was going, he seemed...surprised. He didn’t know the place at first, that it wasn’t even on his map. I pointed it out on my phone, and he said that the nearest stop was Billingham in County Durham. I said that was fine, that I could probably catch a taxi the rest of the way. I don’t know if he believed me, but either way, he accepted my ticket and I boarded. There wasn’t anything unusual about the ride up, and at the time, I just guessed he didn’t know because the town was so small.

When I finally arrived in Billingham, I managed to flag a taxi down and asked the driver to go to Crestfallen. He also seemed surprised, but it must’ve been for completely different reasons. Whatever they were, he shoved it down and told me it was going to be a fairly expensive taxi ride. That was fine by me, I had already converted all of my money to pounds anyway. So I loaded my luggage and got in the back.

Thankfully, he kept silent most of the way through. He told me when we were about five minutes away from the stop, and followed it up by telling me that if I wanted to turn back now, he wouldn’t charge me anything. 

I realized what he meant: I had been paying attention to my book and not to the town itself, which was covered in a heavy fog. I hadn’t noticed any fog when I got to Billingham; the skies were clear all day. Maybe it was just foggy west of the bus route and Billingham--I wanted to get away from my old life so desperately that I was denying any possibility that my new life would be worse.

I shook my head and said that I was staying. The taxi driver laughed, a short, almost bitter laugh. Told me that I was gonna die in Crestfallen one way or another before he dropped me off. I paid him and took my luggage, still questioning what exactly he meant.

The odd thing was that, after I stepped off, the fog had lifted. I mean, the sky was still overcast, but I could see clearly. I was in this...little clearing, with a path that presumably led to the town, and another one apparently leading to the farm. A man was waiting in the clearing, and he approached me. Said he was the mayor, and that he wanted to show me to the farm. 

I had already expected the farm to be a mess, honestly. I saw the pictures. There were scattered branches and stones throughout the farmland, wild grass growing everywhere...if there was even a previous owner, they must’ve left a long time ago. I wanted to ask the mayor, but he just ignored me. At the time, I thought he was just busy and that he had better things to do. He gave me a random bag of seeds and told me my tools were in the farmhouse. And then he just left.

I wish I could tell you more, but I just can’t remember a good chunk of my time there. My therapist is pretty sure it’s a symptom of my PTSD, which...if there’s even more traumatic memories my brain has blocked out, that’s scarier than anything I can remember.

Everything was just so uncanny. Most of the people always moved around like robots, their eyes glazed over, until I talked to them. And then they were all too perky. Even the people I were told were grumps acted like it. There were things that were superficially different about them, but they all acted so similarly, it felt like some sort of hive mind. I don’t know if that’s what was going on, and honestly, I don’t want to find out.

I say most of the people, because there were two I felt like I could trust. There was a huge lake on the outskirts of the town, and these two people lived on the beach. One of them lived in a small cabin, her name’s Odelia Stevens. She’s a writer, and she had gotten herself in the unfortunate situation where she couldn’t afford to move out, once she realized what was going on with the town. The second was an old fisherman living by the docks, his name was Langdon Averill. I’ll...get to why I say “is” for Odelia and “was” for Langdon later.

I think meeting them was the thing that kept me from falling into the town’s clutches. They were considered outcasts, and the town seemed to pretend like they didn’t exist. I never saw any of them go to the beach, and when one of them tried to talk to me after I left, they would tell me I just appeared out of nowhere.

I didn’t end up farming much. I would buy from the general store, at first, but when I harvested the crops, they were...god, I can’t think of the words. They were mangled and sickly, even though I knew the soil at least looked good. The seeds the mayor gave me, I think they were supposed to be parsnips, but the leaves were so shriveled, and the parsnips themselves were hard and spotted, and they were so small. When the mayor came to my farm to gather the harvest, I didn’t know whether or not to give...any of what I’d grown to him. But he saw them and he was overjoyed. He took one of those parsnips and bit right into it, dirt and spots and all. And he loved it! The only things that really prospered was food that I foraged from a nearby forest, and that became pretty much my entire diet. I took a sample of the soil from the farm; I have it with me if you want to keep it for testing or something.

Odelia and Langdon told me a lot about the other townsfolk, mostly so I wouldn’t outwardly freak out. I learned that they hate that the hard way--I once saw a child, couldn’t have been more than ten years old, shove a live robin down his throat and swallow it. I screamed, and the child’s mother descended on me, scratching me with her nails. Even though they were short, they were almost deadly sharp. I still have the scars on my cheek. She was screaming at me, over and over, screaming that he was just having a snack. It must’ve drawn the attention of the other townsfolk, because I could hear more voices yelling at me, telling me that I would be cooked in “his pot,” whatever that meant. Suddenly, the clock in the center of town rang and, like a reset button, they all stopped and went back to their usual activities. Thankfully, I had already met the two at the beach, and Langdon patched me up in his house.

I learned that they ate live birds a lot. They really seemed to like raw meat, flies or rotting be damned. I liked my meat, still do, but at least I cook it first. They would eat raw chicken and vomit in the streets afterwards. I never saw anyone die, funnily enough. 

They had celebrations every so often. I hadn’t properly learned from Odelia and Langdon yet, so I went to the first one in the spring. I think it was something for Easter, but all they did was crack a bunch of eggs in this huge pot and take turns drinking spoonfuls from it. When I declined, I could feel that they wanted to attack me, but something prevented them from ending the celebration in bloodshed. 

After that first spring, I spent a lot of my time at the beach and in the forest. The forest wasn’t completely free of the townsfolk, as one of them ran a ranch near the edge of that, but I needed it for food. Eventually, Langdon taught me how to fish--I couldn’t exactly subsist on wild leeks and berries forever. It was a nice way to pass the time.

By that first winter, though, things started to change. So long as snow covered the ground, the townsfolk would come in the night and write things in it. Sometimes I wouldn’t see them if the snow covered it up, but otherwise...it was always things about how I had betrayed their father, more references to his pot, that I would melt and cook while they feasted on my bones with said father. I wish I could remember more, Jon, I’m sorry.

Archivist

Do you remember anything else?

Avery

Well...sometime around the first fall, Odelia taught me how to make seeds out of the food and flowers I foraged. That was how I knew it wasn’t the soil that made the crops suffer, the seeds that I had made turned out fine--sometimes they were even better than what I had foraged. I ended up farming more for myself over anything, even though one of the points on that ad was that I had to be generous and donate some of my crops to the townspeople. I doubted it would make them happy, though. And I don’t really like hurting or killing people unless they’re actively attacking me or other innocent people; if my crops were going to poison the town, I didn’t want to risk anything. Chances are it would’ve just made them madder.

I tried to raise some chickens, though. Despite how much I didn’t want to interact with either of these people, I asked the carpenter to make a coop, and I got some chickens from the man running the ranch. By all accounts, they acted like normal chickens, and I tried to feed them good hay by harvesting the grass, but their eggs were still terrible: gray yolks, incredibly thin whites...I love scrambled eggs, but I could never use those. I eventually sold the chickens back to the ranch and had the coop taken down after a few months in the summer. I didn’t even want to try raising cows.

I wanted to leave so badly by the time that second winter rolled around. While Odelia and Langdon would often visit me and we would spend time on my farm or in the forest, by that time there was some odd force preventing them from leaving the beach. I witnessed it myself; anytime they would approach that border of trees separating the beach from the rest of the town, it was like they got...stuck. I don’t know if you play video games, but you know when you reach the border of the game map, and you just can’t go any further despite there not being anything physical stopping you? It looked like that. I could come and go as I pleased, but it was like...like the townspeople had rejected their existence so hard they couldn’t even penetrate the town they had constructed so carefully.

I think the final straw for the townspeople was late spring, the last year I was there. They had this sort of dance deep in the thick of the forest, apparently only accessible when the dance was going on. One of the men around my age there was the town doctor--which I doubt he was actually licensed to practice medicine, since I don’t even think he was thirty at the time--and he asked me to go to the dance. I’d never been asked before, in Crestfallen or in general, but I really didn’t want to go. I had no idea what kind of fucked up shit would happen there, and I didn’t want to find out. So I said no.

That night, just before I was about to go to bed, my door was broken down. I don’t remember how many people were there, but it was definitely the doctor and at least four other people. They descended on me like vultures, only instead of eating me they were savagely beating and kicking me. I was crying, and...sorry, hold on a second.

Archivist

Take your time.

Avery

[They nod, silently wiping tears away from their face]

Sorry, I...I have a bad habit of going nonverbal when I start crying. That, and I sound incomprehensible when I try to talk, and that’s especially bad considering you’re recording this. Anyway, I think one of them brought a bat down on my head, and I was knocked unconscious. I woke up the next morning in this weird white dress and a flower crown on my head. I could feel thorns on the stems threatening to pierce my already sensitive head. As my vision came into focus, I could see that my hands and feet were bound with rope. Actually, I wasn’t wearing anything but that dress, but when I tried to ask where my clothes had gone, I...I couldn’t make words with my mouth. Just a gentle sigh. It was a moment later that I saw the doctor holding my clothes, all neatly folded, approaching a blazing bonfire. Before I could even try to yell out, he threw them into the flames and turned towards me, watching me with cold infatuation as my clothes burned away.

Soon enough, the mayor approached me and grabbed my wrists, pulling me to the center of what looked to be the actual dancing part of the area. It was from here that I could see the whole field: the bonfire in the middle, separating what looked to be a buffet from the dancing. Various townspeople were milling around the buffet or looking at the bonfire, but when the mayor whistled, everyone turned to face me instantly.

They must’ve all known what would happen, because without a word or even a gesture from the mayor, the doctor stepped forward and grabbed my hands in his own. I tried to look at the ground, but the mayor held a hand under my chin so I would look my apparent dance partner in the eyes. 

I hated every second of it. I was basically just getting tossed around, since I couldn’t move my feet. I could hear the townspeople chanting and playing instruments, but it wasn’t anything I could decipher. That or I just can’t remember, I wouldn’t be surprised at this point. Slowly, more people joined in on the dance, although from the snippets I could see, their dance was totally different than whatever the doctor was doing to me.

It felt like hours, but the sun’s position hadn’t even moved in the sky when the dance was done and I was released. I didn’t get much time to relish it, though, because I was knocked unconscious again. When I woke up, it was night, and I was lying naked on top of my bed.

I knew at that point that I had to get out of there. But I didn’t want Odelia and Langdon to be trapped either. I needed to do something. God, I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but the entire time I was there, I could never get a signal on my phone. And it wasn’t like I had run out of data or anything, I was on a by-the-gig plan at the time. At least I wasn’t wasting my money, but it still frustrated me. Most of my days after that dance were spent walking all around the town limits, trying in vain to even get one bar. I’d downloaded one of those rideshare apps forever ago, but I never used it, and I figured now would be the best time to see if anyone could show up. I didn’t have much faith, considering my previous experiences getting to Crestfallen, but dammit, I had to try. I did not want to die in this place, and I didn’t want Odelia or Langdon to either.

I know you’re probably wondering why I didn’t just walk the road back to where I came, but to be honest, I didn’t want the townspeople following me. None of them had cars, as far as I knew, maybe a motorcycle owned by one person, but I still feared that they could track us down anyway. Plus, I didn’t want to get turned around and end back up in Crestfallen again. So, I figured calling someone over would be the best solution. I really didn’t want to rope anyone else into this mess, but it had the highest chance of succeeding in my eyes. And well, I’m here right now.

I finally got two bars on May 31st. See, part of Crestfallen is on a huge hill, and on the peak of that there’s a train that comes through--no stops, unfortunately, and I never heard or saw one go by while I was living there. Either way, it was there that I finally found a signal. So, I told my plan to Odelia and Langdon: that as soon as I found a way to get them out of the beach and onto the single road that went out of Crestfallen, we were leaving. Langdon seemed more hopeless than Odelia, but they both eventually agreed. 

As it turned out, Odelia was on her high school’s swim team, and she had kept that up. She found that, so long as she swam to where the river flowing through Crestfallen emptied into the lake and kept her body underwater the entire time, she could escape into the rest of the town. With the added bonus of this river emptying out in the forest, she and Langdon could have some secrecy coming up. Meanwhile, I could take their luggage beforehand and keep it at my house until they were ready to go.

They were ready June 7th. The three of us stood at the top of the hill, Odelia and Langdon soaked, while I got someone to pick us up. Once the ride was approved, we raced back down to my house to get our luggage and wait for our driver. Unfortunately, the rest of the town seemed to have picked up on our plan.

Five minutes before our driver got there, we could see a mob approaching us, and they had weapons. Crude ones, but I could see kitchen knives glinting in people’s hands, sharpened sticks and stones and bats. They didn’t want to just beat us up this time; they were either going to indoctrinate us or kill us.

Despite his age, Langdon was surprisingly good at defending us against the mob. While we were able to avoid things being thrown at us, and at a couple points we threw them back to keep individual members from attacking us, Langdon was actively keeping them away with his suitcase. Two minutes before our driver got here, he was able to wrestle a butcher’s knife from a woman’s hand--the same woman that clawed my face so long ago. It felt like slow motion, watching him throw the knife right in the center of the woman’s forehead.

As she collapsed into a heap, the mob paused. They looked at the dead woman, and their faces contorted into anger. One of them cried out, and the mob descended on him just as the driver pulled up. Langdon screamed at us to save ourselves, and Odelia pulled me into the car. As she told the driver to go as fast as she could, I watched helplessly as the mob tore chunks from Langdon, and he screamed in pain as they ate his flesh.

When the driver dropped us off at the bus station, I gave her a five star rating and a tip that basically doubled the cost of the ride. She didn’t sign up to see a man be cannibalized, so it was the least I could do for potentially traumatizing her.

As we waited, I asked Odelia if Langdon sacrificing himself was something he planned. She shook her head, but she did remember hearing him say that he would rather he die on this mission over either of us, his rationale being that he was just an old fisherman, that we had more potential than he did out in the rest of England. I don’t know if he was right, but I can’t exactly change the past.

When the bus drove up, we boarded. I ended up sleeping most of the way down, which gave Odelia the chance to rest her head on my shoulder. Even though it was on a bus, it was the most comfortable I slept in the longest time. She must’ve had family or something in Liverpool, since that was where she requested to be dropped off. At first, I didn’t really know where I wanted to go. I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore; all of my plans for the future had been dashed by Crestfallen. I ended up telling the bus driver to bring me to Greenwich, since it seemed far enough away from the center of London that I wouldn’t be overwhelmed. I applied for temporary housing there while I looked around for jobs to tide me over. It took about a month for me to get my own place, and as you probably know, I got a job here in August.

Archivist

That’s...certainly a lot. Do you have any way of contacting Odelia to perhaps get her perspective on Crestfallen?

Avery

I have her number, yeah. Though I’m not sure how willing she’d be to talk to you about it, considering whenever I’ve tried to bring up her time in Crestfallen, she doesn’t want to talk about it.

Archivist

Well, I suppose that’s understandable. As much as I would want to send someone up there to investigate, it would likely take a day at least, and if your claims are true, it would be very dangerous for--

Avery

What, you don’t believe me?

Archivist

You said yourself that you don’t remember a whole lot. But considering some of the...more horrific things you’ve told me about Crestfallen, I don’t want to think about what’s been blocked from your memory due to trauma. 

Avery

I...I guess. I wouldn’t want anyone going out there either. Not without a weapon, and I doubt you can have those on public transportation.

Sorry. It’s just...wanting to tell someone about this was part of the reason why I applied to work at the Institute. Not all of it, but...I was kind of worried you wouldn’t believe me if I was some stranger. Although, I guess now’s not much better.

Archivist

[Sighs] Avery, I know I might act like I do, but I don’t hate you. I’m not around you enough to hate you.

Avery

I have a feeling you will if you get to know me better. It happens a lot. [Sighs, getting up from chair] Well, if that’s all you need from me, I should go.

Archivist

For now, yes. I’ll reach out if I need additional information.

Avery

Cool. [Footsteps, door opens then closes]

[CLICK]

Archivist

[CLICK]

Despite the...awkward ending to that statement, Avery has been surprisingly cooperative in regards to follow-up questions. They asked Odelia Stevens if she could come in and give a statement, but apparently her work schedule would make that difficult. However, Avery has arranged a video call with her and myself, so maybe she’ll be able to give us some more insight.

As it turns out, Crestfallen is a registered town in County Durham, despite there being very little information about...anything involving it, really. I don’t know how I could convince anyone to go there, even if they don’t know about it. I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that.

I really don’t know all that much about Avery, now that I think about it. As much as I don’t want to trust them, I’ve been trying to let my paranoia go. It’s strange, you’d think knowing them less would give me more reason to be paranoid about their intentions, but...quite the opposite, really. I don’t know what motivation they’d have for faking something on this scale, especially when their job is so removed from the more paranormal aspects of working here.

I just don’t know. And I don’t know if that’s a sign I should get to know them better, or keep them at arms’ length.

Recording ends.

[CLICK]

[like-twilight]

I’m jus’ gon do this cause why not I stole it from Here.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

According to my last.fm in the last seven days: 1: ATEEZ: Wave 2: ATEEZ: Illusion 3: ATEEZ: Win 4: TxT: Run Away 5: ATEEZ: Precious 6: ATEEZ: Say My Name

Guys. I like Ateez.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My sister.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

Well I ain’t standin’ up so here’s line 17 from page 23 of Vale which is on my computer.

““Well then, Your Highness,” I say and crouch down, trying to get a look of her face”

4: What do you think about most?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad things.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

From a real person that’s not an automated message from a bank or a website it’s from my co-worker from October 26th that says “Ok I’ll do it, print it then I’ll replace it”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Well. PJ’s are clothes so.

7: What's your strangest talent?

I don’t think I have any.

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence)

Girls not allowed. Boys also not allowed. Leave me alone. (My nb friends can come tho.)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

If I did then the creator didn’t tell me :”D

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I... can’t recall.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Frogs.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Maybe as a baby?

13: What's your religion?

I don’t belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

I’m not outside. But I’d probably be going to work or the store or the post office.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ateez!

17: What was the last lie you told?

“I’m okay!” #deep

18: Do you believe in karma?

god no!

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s a quote from Ateez’s Twilight.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I’m very depressed. Strength is probably that I’m still alive? Idk

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Idk. Find a lot of famous people attractive I-? I Don’t have just like The Celebrity Crush. Jeong Yunho’s cute tho.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No.

23: How do you vent your anger?

I throw a temper tantrum.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Just a mason jar of my tears. Also every Ateez album released so far.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither! Fucking email me, bro.

26: Are you happy with the person you've become?

God no :D

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Ambulance sirens hate. Fuckin... panflute I love.

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

What if I was a... giraffe.? Or a tardigrade. 

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in things we can’t perceive scientifically or whatever. Not ghosts per se, like souls of dead people or whatever. Also yes to aliens.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Nothin I’m jus sittin on my bed. If I move my arms up and down a bit then my blanket and a bottle of water.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothin. Is just my room.

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Uuuh a cemetery?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

In America? Idk which is less racist in general?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

What’s an “opposite” gender? I know you mean male but I refuse to give into the cISSEXIST SCUm. 

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

I have no idea what that means.

36: Define Art.

the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes. But I’ve never been the lucky one unfortunately.

38: What's the weather like right now?

Uuuh I have to google it. Clear. 8°

39: What time is it?

21:30

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No. But I probably would.

41: What was the last book you read?

Pfssssshhhh, one that wasn’t written by me? Fucks me, dude. Fault In Our Stars? The Death Cure? I can’t remember, it’s been years.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yeah!

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Tia.

44: What was the last film you saw?

Uuuuuuuuhhh... UUUUHHHHHHHHH How to Train Your Dragon 3, it was nice.

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had?

Had a bleeding spine! Kinda miss it tbh.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I probably haven’t tried, I’ve just tried to get them to land on me.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Uuuh I’m into Ateez these days.

48: What's your sexual orientation?

I’m byesexual.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yes.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Again, I do believe things could exist we can’t scientifically explain but idk. Not in the Harry Potter magic way.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

No, cause I believe everything is my fault.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Aries.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save money TO spend. I think I found a healthy balance.

54: What's the last thing you purchased?

A fukin... bike. That’s like in your room. Not by accident but because it’s meant to be there.

55: Love or lust?

Like.. in what context? Love? Idk.

56: In a relationship?

Love.

57: How many relationships have you had?

None relationships.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can’t.

59: Where were you yesterday?

Like on average? Or 24 hours ago exactly. Cause I was at work for eight hours and then I was just on my bed.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yeah, my phone case.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Ye.

62: What's your favourite animal?

Cat? Idk.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

:DDDD If I had any then people would like me.

64: Where is your best friend?

???? 

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

I... I dunno? The ones I follow?

66: What is your heritage?

I don’t know what that means. Like what I’m gonna be remembered by? I whined a lot!

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Cried.

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

Choi.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Why would I lie about masturbation. Yeah I did.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Fuck no.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, fuck off.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I am telling everyone. b) Be paralysed by fear and waste all of it. c) Yes, very much.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

I feel like that’s stupid. 

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Illusion by Ateez these days. 

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4153

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I wouldn’t know, buddy.

77: How can I win your heart?

Just be nice to me and I’ll probably be emotionally attached to you for life, sorry.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I don’t think insanity is the cause for any creativity. If an insane person is creative then they would be creative with a sound mind too.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Got into kpop, that was nice.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

42

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Balled 2 hard lol”

82: What is your favourite word?

There are too many words.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Kokoro.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I don’t think there is one.

85: What's the last song you listened to?

Treasure by Ateez.

86: Basic question; what's your favourite colour/colours?

Pink and yellow.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of.. Ateez... sorry.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump.

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Uh, I think I’m p truthful, yeah. Ask me anything.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Scream. Maybe scramble on the floor and push past them if I can.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Immortality!

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Oh geez. I was on a carousel in Italy once, that was awesome.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The one that gave me depression idk which one it was but can it go away?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Ehh, I don’t want that. Like... I don’t know those people, they could be Awful in bed or just in general too. Like I need an emotional bond first and they don’t even know me and I only know the persona they show to the public. Plus it could potentially ruin the music for me later on, it’d be weird, no thank you.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

UUUUUHHHHH I DUNNO Lyon cause Grenoble doesn’t have an airport. Well, actually my sister isn’t in Grenoble right now. Hm well if I grab my card before I go then I can just find a hotel there until she comes home.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

I don’t think so? 

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I had to throw up in a car and then asked the driver to stop the car so I can throw up outside the car.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. Seven times. SEVEN TIMES? Yeah, holy shit.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Someone help me, I am so so so incredibly in need of help, please. Please. Thank you.

[shadowqueenrules-blog]

Love, Keith

Me: Hello everyone in Tumblr! So a little while ago I wrote that I was thinking about writing a Klance ‘Love Simon’ parody. Well, for those who thought I wasn’t going to do it, you were wrong. I’ve written a little bit of it (I still have a long way to go if I’m being completely honest with you) but I was thinking that it might be good for me to give you guys a preview and see how you react to it. Give me some notes and all that jazz. Now here is some VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION regarding this story.

This is a Klance fic

Shiro is 18 and lives with Keith (they are brothers in this story, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the parent situation quite yet)

Red is Keith’s cat

Pidge is still 14 but because she’s so smart she is graduating with Keith

Matt is in this story at the age of 18 and in the same college as Shiro

Coran is the homeroom/science teacher

Lance, Hunk, Keith, and Allura are all are or going to become 18 throughout this story

THIS STORY ISN’T GOING TO BE QUOTE BY QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE! As much as I love the movie I am only basing my story off of it. There are going to be things that are very similar but that’s as far as I want to go with it

The scene you are about to read is when ‘Blue’ first appears. This is going to be VERY similar to the movie because I couldn’t think of anything else. But the dialogue is all mine. If you have a problem with that then you can just leave. Other than that please enjoy the sneak preview of ‘Love, Keith’!!!

Ring! Ring!

Ring! Ring!

Ring-

“Allura?” I asked picking up my phone looking at the time. 9:23pm. “If this about doing another late night Taco Bell run, you can count me out. I still haven’t recovered from last month-”

“No!” She interrupted-loudly I might add. “Though I am craving one of their taco bowls right now-anyway! I was calling to see if you heard about the new post yet?” I rolled my eyes going back to figuring out my english homework. I honestly should’ve known she was calling me because of some post. I thought back to this morning when she told us the real reason three of the science classrooms were closed down this week.

“I swear, Zethrid needs to work on her anger issues. I don’t care if Coran gave her a C-, it doesn’t give her the right to blow up the science department.”

“Not that post!” She screamed louder.

“Allura!” Another voice called out from the line.

“Sorry Father!” I chuckled under my breath deciding to push my english homework aside and open up my laptop.

“Then what post are you talking about?” I slowly type up the website waiting for my slow-ass internet to open it up.

“I’m talking about the closeted bi-guy at school.” My eyebrows shot up right as the website finally loaded. My breath got caught in my throat as I saw the post she was talking about. It was at the very top of the page with a picture of what seems to be looking up towards the sky from deep within the ocean. The closeted bi-guy at school. The closeted bi-guy at school. The closeted bi-guy at school. The words spoken only moments ago repeated in my head on a constant loop blocking out almost everything around me. “Who do you think it is? I think it may be Rax, I get a weird vibe off of that guy. I mean, he can’t seriously be that mad over Hunk having a crush on his sister.” Almost. I knew I had to hang up on her. Even though we haven’t known each other long, she usually can read me like a freaking book. I took a look around my room trying to find anything I could use as an excuse. My head swerved towards my door just in time to see a orangish-red furball walk in and her golden eyes connected with mine.

“Can I call you back? Red just threw up on the carpet big time.” I lied hoping she would buy it. Hearing this, Red narrowed her eyes and meowed at me.

“Oh no! Actually I have to head off to bed soon. We can talk more about this tomorrow, okay?” I silently sighed in relief grabbing the small bag of treats I had stuffed in my desk drawer and tossed one over to Red. She glared at it before hesitantly taking the peace offering.

“Yeah, talk tomorrow.” I hung up on her without another word and looked back to the screen. I knew she would has questions tomorrow about it but at that point I couldn’t care less.

The-Blue-Prince

Drowning in the Sea of my Emotions

There are days where I know exactly what I want to say and would scream them to the world. And there are days, like today, where I feel like the whole world is crashing down upon me and I feel like I’m drowning in all of my emotions. I can see the sun glistening off of the water as I fall in deeper and I hold my breath, hoping someone jumps in to come save me. I had a realization….or an acceptance with something about a year ago. I mean it’s not like I haven’t thought that I was bisexual before but I always denied it till now and I don’t know how to deal with it. No one in my life knows and I don’t want to tell them yet. How can I? When I finally accepted it I was curled up in my bed crying my eyes out, not because I am ashamed with it but because I was so sure that I knew myself, that I have worked on myself so much that I knew exactly who I was. And I was wrong. I don’t know how my family will react to the news whenever I have a chance to tell them, no matter how supportive they are I know that there’s a fine line with what they will and will not go with. And even if they say they support me being bisexual I know that someone will still be weird about it. How do I even tell them? It’s not like its easy to put into conversation. Like, “hey Mom, remember how I kept saying I was straight? Nope! I like both guys and girls”? I know my friends will support me no matter what, just like I support them, right now I just wish that they were with me. I wish that they would hug me and let me release all the emotion within myself. All of the doubt and denial I have been having, all my fears of my family’s reaction, I want to let it all out. But I’m too much of a coward to tell them. So, here I am, instead of getting ready to run some errands I’m writing this on Voltron for my classmates and random strangers alike to see and am very close to crying once again. Like I said I’m not ashamed, in fact I love that I finally admitted this to myself. It marks another point in my path to self discovery. I just wish I had found out sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t be drowning. Maybe I can finally break the surface of the sea of my emotions and swim back to shore… And maybe on that sandy shore there is somebody extraordinary just waiting for me to show up.

-Blue

I sucked in a breath rereading the post over and over again. There’s someone else! What should I do? Just leave it or… I looked at the signature again seeing an email address I’m sure “Blue” hadn’t meant to post. I opened up another tab and quickly made a gmail account.

To: blueprince96@gmail.com

From: redpaladin@gmail.com

Subject: Hello

Hello Blue,

I am just like you. I have an older brother in college who is both popular and the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, though he gets super awkward around this girl who he has had a crush on for as long as I can remember. Everyone admires him, and frankly I can’t blame them since I admire him more than anything. He teases and embarrasses me endless but I love him to death. Plus I have a secret blackmail stash of him lip syncing to ‘Risky Business’ when he forgot that I had gotten sick and couldn’t go to the zoo with my class that I’m saving for when the moment arises. One thing most people don’t know about him is that he can’t sing for his life. It’s so bad that I bought noise cancelling headphones for whenever he decides he’s in a good enough mood to sing in the shower.

I have friends that I cherish. Two of them I’ve known since first grade which practically makes them my siblings and one that I’ve met a few years ago when my brother was in high school and challenged her to a weight lifting contest. I swear he was about ready to ask her to marry him after she kicked his ass. We do what every group of kids do: play video games all night long, drink way too much coffee from Starbucks, pass inappropriate notes during class to see who would be the person to get caught first, and pretend that we are extroverts when we are actually watching some weird ass anime about a bunch of alien robotic cats on Netflix on most weekends.

Whenever I don’t have my friends in my class or it’s too risky to play our game (it’s becoming harder now as I suspect that our teachers are figuring us out), I usually like to doodle and write. Overall I am a decent student who is only getting by because of my genius friends helping me out.

Like I said, I’m just like you.

And I have one huge ass secret that nobody, not even my brother knows.

I’m gay.

-Red

P.S: You might want to take your email off your post if you don’t want jackasses hate spamming you.

I took a deep breath and hit send before my confidence left. It took a little more than a second for me to realize what I just did and another second to start freaking out. What the hell did I just do?

...........................

22 hours. 22 hours of Shiro asking me if I was okay, my friends thinking I was in one of my ‘moods’, and my inner panic monitor overflowing before I hear my laptop’s notification sound over me taking out all my feelings on my punching bag. I would say that I did not completely wipe out after tripping over my clothes as I rushed over to get to it.

“You okay there Keith?” I heard Shiro call from downstairs as I pulled myself up on my desk chair.

Unfortunately if I said that I would be completely lying.

“Yeah!” I called back trying to calm down the burn in my cheeks. I clicked open my email trying my best not to get my hopes up. 22 hours and 37 minutes after I sent the email a true smile appeared on my face.

From: blueprince96@gmail.com

To: redpaladin@gmail.com

Subject: re:Hello

Hello Red,

You don’t realize how honored I feel to hear that you chose me to come out to first. Though I totally get why you did. Sometimes It’s easier to come out to a complete stranger than your friends, no matter how close they are. When did you first realize?

It sounds like you love your brother a lot. BTW, how dare you have that beautiful creation as blackmail! You cannot tell me you’ve never done that dance before. For one, I wouldn’t believe you. And two, if you really haven’t then you are not human. I have a ton of siblings but I’m closest to my older sister. She wants to be a fashion designer and makes me model for her sometimes. I don’t mind though. I keep telling her that her stuff is ready to be out in the world, because they are amazing, but she’s not confident enough yet.

What kind of stuff do you write and draw?

-Blue

P.S: Thanks for the heads up on my email. I took that part down

Back then, as I typed my reply, nothing in the world would have prepared me for what would happen.

.........................

There it is folks! I’m debating about writing Keith’s response to Blue’s last email but let me know what you guys think! And if you guys followed me early last month you may recognize Blue’s post, it’s because it’s mine (with some minor changes) that I posted when I accepted my sexuality.

[itsjesperfahey]

modern soc au

inej: 

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 

likes to read poem books 

has a black cat as a pet named "saint" 

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 

cried the most during fox and the hound 

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 

 the best one at pushing people on the swings 

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 

secretly a huge fan of memes 

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 

cried the most during big hero six 

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo 

little spoon™ 

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 

sometimes djs parties 

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 

cried the most during the lion king 

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 

skateboard pro™ 

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 

all the social medias. 

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

 PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 

loves fashion design, takes that class. 

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 

great at roller skating 

always wins the best dressed awards ad school 

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 

cried the most during 'up' 

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 

always breaks snapchat streaks 

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 

big spoon™ 

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 

always eating lollipops 

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

prefers black coffee as well 

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

 favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 

“bow down you fucking peasants" 

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 

loves watching horror movies with nina 

 *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 

gets second place for best dressed award 

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 

indie and alternative rock fan 

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 

cried the most during finding dory 

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

 hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 

nina treats him like a baby 

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

 jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 

"fight me on this" 

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 

Always drinking ginger ale 

master at bop it 

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 

loves cartoons and anime 

speaks fluent fuckboy 

God awful at comebacks 

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 

cried the most during inside out

 "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

[daesungindistress]

1.Hi, I came across this post (daesungindistress(.)tumblr(.)com/post/161838867627/i-used-to-love-todae-too-but-then-realized-theyre) but unfortunately I deleted my tumblr some time ago and can't reply on it so here is something that came to mind while reading through it. This might get a little long. Bare with me :) .. I actually started liking BB not long ago through Dae and his amazing voice and started looking at some videos and concerts and such and one thing that struck me was SH and Dae

Besides the fact that he is literally the other half of Dae in every Dae related show out there. Their relationship is something that sticks out from the group although it is the one they Seung Hyung and mostly Dae goes out to put little focus on. If they did the whole GD+Ri and GD+Top that Ri and GD does then they will blow them all out in terms of “fanservice”. Something they barely do.

I enjoyed reading through both your thoughts and like I said, I haven’t been listening or paying attention to them for long, a couple of months at most. I do agree with both your posts. From what I’ve seen of Seung Hyun, he is more impulsive as far as his emotions goes and he says and does things that some times makes you go what the hell is you doing baby. I remember seeing one interview where I think it was PSY who diverted from the whole mess he was digging himself into.

He is not someone who hides things or goes out of his way to really hide it. You give him the opportunity to talk about something that he doesn’t mind talking about without any backlash and he will tell it all. And then you have Dae who is more “calculating” on how much he lets out. Something I’ve noticed is that during interviews he mostly says the same thing where he either takes something out and add something new or shift it a little. And he makes it so funny that most are like awww and

and then goes so funny like you said the smiling angel until the times comes where things like Seung Hyun talking about calling him whenever he is feeling down and then people goes oh, that was serious. I’ve been watching k-dramas and such for almost a decade so I know the K-Entertainment is brutal and sometimes how you conduct yourself can come back and bite you in the ass. I do have artists that I like but in general I stay far far away from the K-Pop/music world.

In Daes case by being “closed”up, there isn’t much people can use against him in any case that isn’t made up situations. Also as an introverted person he charges his energy by being with himself and I get that, after having too much conferences within a week I tend to not want to see anyone during the weekend to recharge. I think they balance each other out, his “need” to always be there for Seung Hyun forces him out of his comfort zone.

They are so silly whenever they are on screen together I question how they are considered adults lol. And that’s like one part of their relationship the part that they can show without showing too much. If their situation was a drowning person and one saving I believe both would have drowned by now. Seeing how even more serious Seung Hyun situation seems to be, there is only so much holding above water you can do before you drown yourself or let go.

Normally when people are in a low place, they go to their therapist and try to work through things or do things you normally do that helps you. And so for him to call Dae in such a situation means he knows he is someone who can help him tip the balance back into his life. I think what Dae does, is to be constantly be there for him in order to make sure he doesn’t get to that low point but that can’t be always the case since they also have a life out there.

There is this translation of I think it was the final concert they did and Dae mentioned always wanting to be there for him and give him strength but not doing enough because he easily gets embarrassed. I found that quote interesting. I think they are so low key with their friendship in the public eye that even meeting in private is something the rest of the world with never know, until they decide it is time to do so. But I get why some times people will be like oh maybe they aren’t that

close because they don’t get “caught” or didn’t post about it. Regarding SeungRi’s mess, from what I’ve read, he has been dropping enough hints about those two relationship. It was interesting how Dae got pissed at him for even dropping the fact that Seung Hyun called him. Like really Dae, it’s not that deep. Which also shows, if it was up to him there will be less shown to the rest of the world about how deep their relationship is.

The fact that they haven’t beaten SeungRi with his mouth yet is funny. Dropping the fact that Seung Hyun loves Dae the most o teasing them as lovers from their recent FM. I’m actually expecting his ass to be whooped at this point lol. Did this whole mess even make sense? I didn’t type it out before and just went with what’s on my mind. Hopefully it made some sense.

So when I said this reply would take “a day or two” evidently what I really meant was over a week. So sorry! 😰

I think it’s really cool that you’ve been able to see all these things despite not being into BB for all that long (since you said you started liking them “not long ago”). The short version of this is: yes, I agree! “Literally the other half of Dae” …I love that! Aaaaand now I’m putting the rest behind a cut because… length. Yep.

About fanservice and how they’d blow the others out of the water if only they did it… I don’t think Daesung is all that into couple-y fanservice. Or shippy fanservice, I should probably say. Sad but (probably) true. In fact, he seems to make attempts to discourage it at times, and I try not to think too hard about why that is. This is in stark contrast to Seungri, who keeps up with the trends and knows what the fans want and enjoys giving it to them (us)… even if that means, yes, fanservice. And not always of the spontaneous variety; sometimes it’s pre-planned and carefully thought out.

What comes to mind first is a pretty renowned onstage GRi moment during the MADE tour that was later revealed in the MADE movie to have been a product of Seungri’s planning. He suggested it to GD well ahead of the concert and it seemed GD balked a bit at the idea. But they did it anyway, because they knew the fans would love it. I think that disappointed a lot of fans, when the truth came out, and I completely understand why. We like our shippy moments between the members to be ~real~ and ~natural~ and ~organic~ and ~heartfelt~

…or something. You know?

WHICH is why I get the sense that what we see between TOP and Daesung is rarely just fanservice, if it’s fanservice at all. I don’t think Daesung is into it, and as for TOP… I really feel like TOP just does what he wants, when he wants, cameras be damned. What we end up seeing from them… I dunno. It feels sincere. Probably part of why I’m so drawn to it, to them. Even if it sometimes leaves me feeling like a creeper, lol. 😅

Another thing: I could be wrong, but I don’t think Daesung is much for PDA (public displays of affection). Taking it further, I’m not sure he’s very handsy at all, with his friends or otherwise. You always see the other members touching and caressing and hanging all over him (except for Seungri?), but Daesung rarely reaches out and reciprocates. The only times I can recall seeing him touch the other guys of his own volition (i.e., when he’s not being instructed to for photos or whatever) is when he’s collapsing against them in laughter. You know, dropping his hands on their arms or shoulders. Safe places. No hands on knees or thighs like YB, no arm slung low around the back like TOP, no soft hugs from behind or chin hooked over a shoulder like GD.

The other times Daesung initiates touching are when he and Seungri are sharing the stage, such as in their recent dual rendition of Joyful. He gets a little rough sometimes with Ri, grabbing and pulling him in or pushing him away. But the way I see it, he’s deep into performance mode then and can be expected to play it up a bit for the crowd. (But wait, didn’t I just say he doesn’t do that kind of fanservice? God, y'all, I hate when I end up contradicting myself. I’m just gonna call it the Maknae Effect.)

Sometimes I wonder if his reticence to touch has anything to do with GD, YB, and TOP being his hyungs. Possibly he doesn’t feel it’s appropriate to touch them as freely as they do him. But then… nah. Dismiss that thought. I might be projecting a bit, not being a physically affectionate person myself– the thought to make contact never really occurs to me, and when it does? I’d rather not– but yeah, I just think Daesung tends to be more of a hands to himself kinda guy. (Of course, if we were talking about a love interest he’d surely be warmer toward them, but what I’m discussing here is in a more general sense.)

OKAY. Yikes, sorry, went off on a tangent there. Finally moving on from that. I like that you pointed out how Daesung has this tendency to repeat himself in interviews, often telling the same story over and over again but adding or taking away tidbits, just enough variation to keep it interesting and fresh. And yes, often putting a funny spin on it. Humor is not only great entertainment, it’s a good diversionary tactic. Give people that quick laugh they’re looking for and they’re satisfied, ready to move on. I mean, hey, more power to him, but this is largely why I say that Daesung’s air of openness feels a bit shallow to me at times. I’m always left feeling like we’re just scratching at the surface and getting, well… nowhere.

…Which is perfectly understandable, of course! He’s not exactly going to bare all to the public. I keep having to remind myself that because, perhaps like TOP, once I get to talking I tend to tell all (perhaps a better word is “overshare”). Now there’s one good reason to never become famous. hah!

Alright alright. As for everything else you’ve said, really, agreed 100%! I don’t know that I have anything left to add at this point– or that anything I could add would make it any better tbh. I think your observations about ToDae are on point. Thank you for taking the time to type up and send so many messages to get this to me. And now I’m finally freeing it from my inbox so others can see too.😃

*Oh! I do also like that you brought up Seungri casually throwing out a “because TOP loves Daesung the most” in that one fanmeeting. And his teasing when Daesung was asked about his relationship with TOP in another fanmeeting: “Lovers?”😂 Can’t remember if I ever shared those moments here at this blog, but I have seen them (and loooved them, of course).

[criedw0lfe]

1-100!!! Sorry I had to be THAT person :)

Hahahaha no problem! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME IGNORE EVERYONE ELSE NOW THOUGH.

Is a kiss considered cheating? Answered!

Have you ever faked orgasm? Answered!

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Shapeshifting! It could solve literally all the problems I’ve ever had. LDR’s? Turn into a dragon or some shit and cover the distance. Guy breaking into your house? Grizzly bear time. Someone stole your pool noodle? DUH NUH TIME.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? With happiness, I hope. 

Tell us some funny drunk story. Answered!

Why are you no longer together with your ex? Answered!

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?  Most days I want it to be peacefully at an old age. Unfortunately, some days I want it to be of my own doing. I think that’s most people though.

What are your current goals? Answered!

Do you like someone? Answered!

Who was the last person to disappoint you? Myself.

Do you like your body? Same as # 70!

Can you keep a diet? Yeah, I just don’t need to. I’ve been regularly going to the gym 5 days a week pretty much the entirety of the past 4 years.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Aren’t you tired? Aren’t you done with all the bullshit, the cruelty, the pettiness?

Do you work? I am currently a full time Tire and Battery Technician.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Anything bread.

Would you get a tattoo? Yep! I have one already and want a full blown sleeve.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Plane tickets and fine dining! 

Can you drive? Yep, both automatic and manual. I actually bought my car before I knew how to drive it.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Last night.

What was the last thing you cried for? We had to put down my cat of 14 years on monday.

Do you keep a journal? Does tumblr not count? 

Is life fun? 90% of the time it’s a Goddamn blast.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? Life’s too short, man.

What’s your dream car? 1968 Shelby Mustang.

Are grades in school important? Depends on the degree you’re seeking! I have a BFA so no.

Describe your crush. She’s me.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? I watched Get Out and it was phenomenal. 

What was your last lie? Just one more gusher....

Dumbest lie you ever told? Telling myself I was straight for 23 years.

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? I feel embarrassed but its not. Feelings shouldn’t be embarrassing. 

Something you did and you are proud of? Changing my life.

What’s your favourite cocktail? It’s not like a super cocktail or anything but I’ve always loved Southern Comfort and coke.

Something you are good at? Embarrassing myself and not giving a fuck while I do so.

Do you like small kids? Yeeeees, and I can’t wait till I have some.

How are you feeling right now? Tired as fuck.

What would you name your daughter/son? Amelia for a girl, undecided for a boy.

What do you need to be happy? A good view and a good partner in crime to share it with.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? So many people I would be jailed.

What was the last gift you received? My friend bought me a video game so I would play online with him... but my internet is so fucked up I can’t even download the updates for it.

What was the last gift you gave? The gift of a good time.

What was the last concert you went to? I was supposed to go to In This Moment, but wasn’t able to. So the last was  Carrie Underwood.

Favourite place to shop at? Online, bitches.

Who inspires you? My parents and their resolve.

How old were you when you first got drunk? I’m a prude, it wasn’t until I was 19!

How old were you when you first got high? Answered!

How old were you when you first had sex? 24. I had plenty of opportunity, just no one I cared to do it with before then.

When was your first kiss? Romantically? I was 13.

Something you want to do until the end of this year? Get a new job and move.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I have many regrets and moments I would like to take back, but I’ve decided long ago that I would stop letting the past effect my future.

Post a selfie. Oh my god I look like trash. I’ll post one later, or post an old one.

Who are you most comfortable around? My friend Kyle.

Name one thing that terrifies you. I struggle with the idea of falling from a considerable height. 

What kind of books do you read? I don’t have a specific genre that I usually stick to, but I do like dystopians or westerns.

What would you tell your 12 year old self? Don’t follow the crowd, and don’t give a fuck what people think. You’ll be someone they wish they were when you’re older. And for the love of god, don’t give into your thoughts. You’ve got to see what you become.

What is your favourite flower? Orchid.

Any bad habits you have? I have a hardcore caffeine addiction that I need to kick bad. 

What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are full of life and adventure.

What was the last thing you cried for? Answered I think?

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? I absolutely hate cilantro. Keep those bitter leaves away from me.

Are you in love? Answered!

Something you find romantic? Effort and chivalry. 

How long was your longest relationship? 3 and a half years! Marriage was a real concept at the time too. It was a boy though.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? We have a tendency to be cruel emotionally. Myself included.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? There are so many problems with masculinity don’t even get me started. 

What are you saving money for? Moving and my first house!

How would you describe your bad side? Cruel and walled up.

Are you actually a good person? Why? I don’t think anyone can be a judge of them self in that regard. 

What are you living for? The light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you ever done anything illegal? Okay we all have anon. You will not get me to incriminate myself. Lmao.

Do you like your body? Answered!

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? Unfortunately I have, and I’m not proud and would’ve taken it back if I could.

Ever sent nudes? All the time. Only when they are wanted though. Never out of the blue.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope.

Favourite candy? GUSHERS.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @babesboobsandbbqsauce, @tacos-guac-tequila, @beans4days and @thebootydiaries.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? Just console atm. When I get a better paying job I will be buying a gaming pc. 

Favourite TV series? Legend of Korra and Avatar the last Airbender. 

Are you religious? Does God exist? Yes and yes. I don’t care if you’re not though. And I find all other religions fascinating and like to learn about them.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? God, all I have time for anymore it seems is fanfiction :/.

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? It’s not my thing, I love meat far too much.

How long have you been on Tumblr? Answered!

Do you like Chineese food? Hell fucking yes. I eat it at least once a week.

McDonalds or Subway? McDonalds.

Vodka or whiskey? Whiskey.

Alcohol or drugs? Alcohol.

Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yep! I’ve been to multiple states and countries. My favorite country I’ve been to so far is Jamaica. 

Meaning behind your blog name? It’s the nickname my family adopted for me because I was always the outdoors child, climbing trees and catching fish with my bare hands.

What are you scared of? Becoming complacent. 

Last time you were insulted? Yesterday. 

Most traumatic experience ? Answered!

Perfect date idea? Building a pillow fort out in the middle of no where and watching the eclipse! 

Favourite app on your phone? Ifunny because I’m problematic. 

What colour are the walls in your room? Blue with silver dusting.

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? Markiplier for sure. 

Share your favourite quote. "Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours." Chloe from Life is Strange.

What is the meaning of life? It is whatever you make it.

Do you like horror movies? YEP! AND HORROR GAMES.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yeah, when I came out of the closet. It was because she hated how I had to keep that weight on my shoulders so quietly.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I should be dead, but I’m not. I’m very lucky I’m still here. Even if sometimes I wish I wasn’t. 

Can you keep a secret? Yep.  

[divinitions]

Bajillion Questions Meme!

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions!

Tagged by @finasol​! Thank you for tagging me! 

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don’t drink sodas, but I guess Coke

2. Disney or DreamWorks: Both!

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea! I can’t really stand coffee ;^;

4. Books or Movies: Definitely books

5. Windows or Mac: Oh, God, Windows hands down. It runs better and is a lot more versatile, and I don’t want my Mac to come crashing down to smoke if it runs any games (which happened to my friend’s acquaintance)

6. DC or Marvel: None, because I’m not a huge fan, but if I must pick, Marvel

7. Xbox or Playstation: Xbox is the one I play more, but I’ve got a good game for PS that I really like

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Uh, both, I suppose. DA2, DAO and the original ME trilogy, but I did not finish DAI (because I found the quests especially redundant, sorry) and ME:A (because I don’t have an Xbox One)

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: More night owl, but I’ve slept for an hour and felt fine, so there’s that

10. Cards or Chess: Cards, because I’ve never learnt how to play chess properly

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Both, because food

12. Vans or Converse: Converse. I’ve never worn Vans in my life

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Lavellan, because let’s face it, you get an egg boyfriend

14. Fluff or Angst: ANGST! Angst all the way! I eat, drink, write, read and breathe angst! ANGST IS LIFE!

16. Dogs or Cats: Both, because why not?

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain, because it’s soothing and I have a reason to procrastinate, albeit a weak one.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Homemade food is good, so cooking is preferable. Eating out is great too, I just have to be more careful.

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Spicy food. I grew up on spicy food so if I eat stuff that isn’t spicy, it’s not flavourful enough sometimes ._.

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas, I guess. I don’t really pay attention to both

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Hot, because I’m used to it

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Control and read minds, because it’d be nice to know what they’re pondering about. Otherwise, time manipulation, because I just wanna slow down and chill

23. Animation or Live Action: Animation

24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon. I always go for diplomatic/persuasive options more than intimidation.

25. Baths or Showers: Showers, much more convenient and efficient, but a good bath once in a while to destress in is good

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Neither, but if I had to choose, Iron Man. 

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: Fantasy

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? If so, what are they?

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

“Stop right there, criminal scum!”

“The Dragon awaits.”

“In the end, you return to the Gods as nothing (Omne reme a di re na).” -iirc, a translation of a line from the DA2 song Mage Pride

I need to remember all this stuff better

29. YouTube or Netflix: Youtube, because I don’t have Netflix where I am

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: None. HP is too black-white for me and while I did like PJ series, it wore down and I got too tired :/ 

31. When Do You Feel Accomplished: Uh, when I BS my way through a paper and get good grades :D

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Not a big fan of both because I don’t follow them

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback because it’s generally cheaper. But hardback books are prettier.

34. Handwriting or Typing: Both, really. Handwriting when it comes down to writing quotes and typography, but typing for writing my fics.

35. Velvet or Satin: Satin

36. Video Games or Movies: LMAO I think this one is obvious enough

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon: If I am a dragon, the Dovahkiin can still kill me. But I’m THE Dovahkiin, so I’d own the dragon

38. Sunrise or Sunset: Sunrise, but I’d pick sunset for Skyrim because c’mon, the auroras are stunning :0

39. What’s your favorite song: Currently Troye Sivan’s “There For You”, but I listen to a multitude and they’ll change soon enough. KARD and Dean have great songs too tho, hnnng.

40. Horror Movies, yes or no: Um, I’ll pass.

41. Long or Short Hair: Long. I like it better that way even tho it’s a pain to deal with

42. Opera or Theatre: I’ve never exactly seen any of these so :/

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and that every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first: The Elder Scrolls universe would be great, mainly because I would like to travel across Tamriel, despite the draugrs and wolves, snow bears and mudcrabs. If not, Assassin’s Creed.

44. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be: Eh, granola. Or salmon.

45. Older guys or young guys: Older guys. I know this is a generalisation, but most are more mature and responsible. Plus, I just can’t see myself with a younger man.

46. If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be: No opinion on this

47. Singing or Dancing: Both.

48. Instagram or Twitter: I’ve got insta, but tumblr, really.

49. Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit: Lord of the Rings. I liked it better, though I am very partial to it.

50. If you could create either a sequel or bring back any tv show/movie, what would you choose: Eh, none.

51. Who is your movie/tv show character that you are looking up to and why?: None, if it’s TV/movie, but if it’s a game, then the guards in TES IV: Oblivion. They pop up everywhere, anytime, even when nobody’s there. C’mon, that deserves a reward.

52. If you were ever convicted of a crime, what would it be?: Shoplifting a gaming console, the games or taking money from the cash register. Pickpocketing, maybe?

53. Anime- subbed or dubbed?: Subbed, but I like listening to hilarious dubbed ones. Free! for example.

54. City or countryside?: Countryside, especially to those that are very lavish in nature and are situated in terrains that resemble those of Iceland, Alaska or Norway.

55. What book have you read over and over?: Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak 

56. What is your personality type?: You see, here’s the thing: I don’t know. The tests chuck back different results. Most likely ISFP but the tests keep saying ISTP - T

57. Would you rather change a moment in time or have a glimpse into the future?: Change a moment in time.

58.) Would you rather have an ex that you hate start dating your best friend, or have an ex that you’re still attached to hook up with someone you revile?: I’d rather just have the latter. I gotta let the ex go someday and it might just be much easier. Not exactly my problem anymore anyway :/

My Question:

59. Oblivion or Skyrim?: Oblivion has better immersion, better thought out quest lines generally (Companion quest in Skyrim was ??????) but Skyrim’s gameplay is great ( + Thieves Guild is a great questline)

Tagging @dxsturbxa, @damnlettuce and @198cm-of-vetra-nyx

[dinoalexander]

The Semi-Quotable 2017 Part 4

I never had his problem with Livejournal. I’ve had several problems but never this... Part 4.

——

"Note to terrorists: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Note to Trump: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Keep calm and carry on." -Kevin

"When you scroll to find your name, don't see your name for a really long time, and wonder if you could have squeezed just a couple more fucks in there. Missed fucking opportunities!" -Laura

Jay: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian steak?"

Joe: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian ass!"

C: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian?"

"As soon as American Idol came to America, we were all fucked." -Jenna

"This isn't football, it's boy bands!" -Q

"To quote the great philosopher Cornell Haynes Jr., it's getting hot in herre." -C

"I'll always love UNC but Gonzaga destroyed Tokyo." -Austin

"Make chicken salad out of that chicken shit!" -Q

"If one more person adds me to LulaNotLemon group without asking me, I swear I am going to find every pair of leggings on this island and burn them in a huge bonfire at Bayview Park. #YouveBeenWarned" -Shannon

"Stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face. So I have two, maybe three days to live." -Q

"I got some antibiotics for the bug I've had for over a week. I think it's adorable that CVS colored the antibiotics green for St. Patrick's Day and they taste like mint. I think those lazy bastards just gave me a container of Tic Tacs." Klauss

"I used to date somebody with lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side." -Rammson

"Is that a thing? Because I just made it a thing." -Jordan

“What is the current bar for "most awkward human on the planet" in the Guinness Book of World Records? Cause I wouldn't mind getting something back for all my suffering.” -Christina

“You’re like a WetJet with a lab degree!” -Q, on cleaning up the ER doc’s messes

“Supporting my husband’s love for this awful team.” -Kyle

“THANKS FOR NOTHING, CRABTREE!” -Robin

"Had homey on some Globetrotter shit." -Jabari

"NBC: Where Every Night at 8 PM is Fuckin' Christmas." -Klauss

“Diane, it’s ‪Tuesday, August 1st‬ and I’ve stumbled upon quite a few mysteries here at Fashion Peaks. Tully the horse has been sent to the glue factory, The Ascension has a very peculiar taste in music, and my partner, Deputy Dango, has been abducted - possibly by extraterrestrials. That leaves me with two questions: One, who kidnapped Fandango? Two, why didn’t I just call you instead of record this?” – Tyler Breeze

“Wait, so that giraffe still hasn't given birth? Have we explored the possibility that the zookeeper just overfed her a few months ago and lied instead of admitting the mistake?” - Nedeff

“Just finished watching ‪Die Hard‬ for the first time (we can discuss later). ‪Die Hard‬ is 100% not a Christmas Movie. Just because it ends with Christmas Music doesn’t make it a Christmas Movie.” – Dan O’Toole with the most wrong hot take of 2017

“We're still gonna get near-daily articles trying to Understand The Le Pen Voter though right” @pattymo

“Of course any portrayal of a real-life figure is about so much more than physical resemblance, but come on guys: how did they NOT cast Christopher Plummer as J. Paul Getty in the first place?” – Richard Roeper

“Danny Ainge the only American who can outsmart a Russian.” – David Dennis Jr.

“The Yankees haven’t been in the playoffs in a while so I forgot how punchable Brett Gardner’s face is” – Brad Rutter

“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” – Dougie Jones

“There’s no fucking way he sold 200 Streamdaddy’s” – Prez on IYH

“By far the most bizarre trivia fact about Dean Stockwell to me is that he’s a trained martial artist.” – Allison Pregler

“Don’t Worry, We’ll Let You Know When The Last Surviving World War II Veteran Dies” - ClickHole

“And I thought Ashley Judd’s sleaziest boss was Benjamin Horne.” – Ken Jennings

“Because hey, if you lose $35 Million one time, try try again!” – Scott Keith on Vince McMahon relaunching the XFL

“I don't recommend going to Wal-Mart 2 days before Christmas. And by "2 days before Christmas", I mean ever.” – BFG

“Pepsi: That was the biggest PR blunder of the week, year maybe.

United: Hold My Beer

Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOY JEEEENNNNNNKINS!” - @Lance_Bradley

“IF THE TITANIC HAPPENED TODAY: “Sir, we’re heading straight for that iceberg. / That’s a fake iceberg. / Sir, it’s a mountain of ice and it’s right in front of us. / Full speed ahead! / Sir, we just hit the iceberg and now we’re sinking...Sir?...Women & children first, Sir...” – Jeff Daniels

“Hot on the heels of his triumphant rebranding of MySpace, Justin Timberlake brings sexy back to the NFL.” – Kevin M.

“Derek Jeter is so freaking hot. I hate the Yankees!” – Greg’s friend Kat’s mother

"Marty Jannetty couldn't buy a date..." thankfully 24 years later Marty will make sure his dates don't share his DNA...” - Dane

“Next year's State of the Union should have an In Memoriam montage with everyone who's been fired.” - Nedeff

“What can bring an end to an angry dance montage? FUCKING ‘NAM!” – The Cinema Snob

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BUNNY! ………… Is it about the Bunny? ………. No, it’s not about the bunny.” – Tommy “Hawk” Hill

“WARREN WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?” -Jimmy Kimmel after the Oscar Best Picture fuckup

“GOODBYE AOL INSTANT MESSENGER GO FUCK YOURSELF” – The Iron Sheik

“A producer pitches a show to an NBC executive.

"Wow me."

"Okay- it's The OJ Simpson Trial... but wacky!"

"Go on..."

"It's a procedural comedy where we don't know whether he did it until the end of the season!"

"But... this is a murder, right? Someone dies?"

"Oh, yes- good 'n' dead."

"I see... and who were you thinking would play the role of the is-he-isn't-he murderer?"

"The Trinity Killer from Dexter, John Lithgow."

"Dick Solomon?! GREENLIGHT THAT ISH" - Fard

“EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES!” – Rick Wilson

“Can’t believe Weinstein didn’t go with the old “locker room talk” defense.” – Matthew Yglesias

“So here's what we're gonna do. Without my knowledge, my husband came to you for a loan of $20,000. You were nice enough to give it to him. But he should never have been gambling like that. I'm gonna pay you back. Now, at my bank, where we make less than one percent interest on what little money we have, people would be turning cartwheels just to get 25 percent interest on any loan, and that is what I'm generously gonna give to you right now, $25,000. That is my first, last, and only offer to you. What kind of world are we living in where people can behave like this? Treat other people this way without any compassion or feeling for their suffering? We are living in a dark, dark age, and you are part of the problem. Now, I suggest you take a good, long look at yourselves because I never want to see either of you again.” – Janey-E Jones

“If professional wrestling isn't real why have I spent the past hour watching Bobby "The Brain" Heenan videos quietly alone in my hotel room?” – Tom Arnold

Gordon Cole: “We’re not anywhere near Mount Rushmore.”

Albert Rosenfield: “I brought a picture for you.”

Gordon Cole: (Looks at picture) “There they are Albert, faces of stone.”

“This is pretty exciting to be apart of this nomination for @VeepHBO especially since my mom watched the entire last season of Madame Secretary and was confused why I was never on it.” – Paul Scheer

“Nice to know that while other industries are turning to tablets and screens, game show hosts are still plugging away with those little cards.” – SC Duncan

“We will remember the unappreciative, ungreatful, evil, awful, Anthem owl men and the man who’s fond of slapping nuts on how they treated us on our exodus from Impact Wrestling YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” – Matt Hardy shooting on Double J’s business practices

“Steve Bannon gets tonight’s Last Word – which for him, is the complete silence of utter humiliation” – Lawrence O’Donnell

“SHOVEL YOUR WAY OUT OF THE SHIT!” – Dr. Lawrence Jacoby

“Sorry I took your suit. I mean, you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you needed, to urge you on, right? Don't you think? Let's just say it was. Look, you screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing: you took the dog to the clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies... alright, not my best analogy. I just wanted to mention that I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team. There's about 50 reporters behind that door, real ones, not bloggers, so when you're ready...” – Tony Stark

“In the Alabama Senate Race, the predicted result among many pundits was a narrow margin of victory. Roy Moore himself, however, was hoping for a shocker in the teens.” – Nedeff

“Sports Illustrated called and said I was probably going to be Sportsman of the Year, but it was going to take a long photo shoot and interview. I’m not proud of my recent perm and have a interpretive dance class at the interview time so I turned it down! No Thanks SI!!” – Noah Syndergaard

“Wow, if I had invested $1,000 in Bitcoin last week, today I would have... still no idea how Bitcoin works.” - @StephenAtHome

“In a confusing twist, Han Solo's name will be revealed to be Luther Campbell.” – Jeff Gerstmann

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes!” – James Comey

“This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.” – The Woodsman in Episode 8 of Twin Peaks: The Return 

“We need some loving profiles of a small town in northern Alabama that thinks obstruction of justice is fine because Drumpf respects cops.” – Matthew Yglesias

“Why are Greg Gumbel and Seth Davis sitting at a desk for ants?” – Andrew Bucholtz

How many more of these things will Tumblr tolerate? Stay tuned...

[y0ung-and-l0aded]

so ah... you home yet? :-P

LOL I’m sorry! But here we go, 1-100!

Is a kiss considered cheating? Imo, yes

Have you ever faked orgasm? Ye…

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? To be able to live completely normally and healthily with no sleep

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? LOL NAH

Tell us some funny drunk story. Lol ummm I don’t really think I have any funny ones. OH WAIT one time I was at a party and I called Meghan really drunk and I bitched out this one person real hard and she thought it was hilarious but then again that’s probably only funny for certain people… welp. All my other drunk stories are depressing LOL

Why are you no longer together with your ex? Which ex? For each one there are different reasons

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Anything that wasn’t painful and also involved my listening to really good music as I died

What are your current goals? To hit 500 then 1000 subs on YT, to get a new position at work, and honestly to just not have a life crippling mental breakdown

Do you like someone? Yes

Who was the last person to disappoint you? Lol nah

Do you like your body? No

Can you keep a diet? HAHA NO WAY

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I have no idea, that’s to philosophical and deep for me

Do you work? Yes

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh fuck seriously? Ummm probably steak lol

Would you get a tattoo? I mean I have 7 so yeah 

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? ALL my money? Well all my money basically goes to rent, gas, and food - so that stuff I guess

Can you drive? Yes

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? I don’t remember

What was the last thing you cried for? It was a person

Do you keep a journal? No

Is life fun? Sometimes actually

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? Depends on who haha, I’m that guy

What’s your dream car? A MAZDA BABY

Are grades in school important? Fuck no, unless you fail and can’t get your degree

Describe your crush. No thanks

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Omg omg omg Train to Busan. Check it out, it’s soooo fucking amazing

What was your last lie? That I was okay

Dumbest lie you ever told? I can’t remember. I’m sure I’ve told many dumb lies

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Not really for me honestly

Something you did and you are proud of? Getting into the Crane school of music

What’s your favourite cocktail? DONT JUDGE ME but a screwdriver 

Something you are good at? Knowing really random knowledge about video games

Do you like small kids? YESSSS 

How are you feeling right now? Indifferent but a little sad

What would you name your daughter/son? Son: Price - Daughter: I have no idea tbh

What do you need to be happy? Someone who loves me as much as I love them, but I’ve been trying really hard lately to be happy on my own

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? No I would never punch someone

What was the last gift you received? I don’t remember, probably something around Christmas time

What was the last gift you gave? Tickets to an Imagine Dragons concert

What was the last concert you went to? twenty one pilots last summer

Favourite place to shop at? UGH so difficult. Target or Walmart or Aero lolol

Who inspires you? Stumpt

How old were you when you first got drunk? I was a junior in high school but I don’t remember the age

How old were you when you first got high? Same as above

How old were you when you first had sex? Tenth grade

When was your first kiss? Tenth grade

Something you want to do until the end of this year? By the end of this year? What? I don’t get this. But I’d like to get to 500 subs by the end of the year

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I normally would say no bc I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and all those things shaping who you are as a person. But yes there is one exception

Post a selfie. Ugh I’m too lazy for that sorry. Just find my Twitter or something lol

Who are you most comfortable around? I’m not really sure anymore

Name one thing that terrifies you. Being raped

What kind of books do you read? I don’t read much anymore, sadly

What would you tell your 12 year old self? That I was going to turn out trans lol

What is your favourite flower? I don’t have one

Any bad habits you have? Yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? People with a good sense of humour, friendly and inviting personality, and I usually notice people by their smiles

What was the last thing you cried for? I think this was asked?

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? I hate mint anything and I can’t do really spicy food

Are you in love? I’m not sure

Something you find romantic? I don’t have the energy for this question rn lol sorry

How long was your longest relationship? 2 and a half years

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Guys who say bro/lit/turnt, guys who use gay as an insult, and guys who think they’re cool bc they’re guys

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Girls who say bro/lit/turnt, girls who use gay as an insult, girls who think they’re hot shit bc they’re defined by society as pretty

What are you saving money for? My survival HAHA LML

How would you describe your bad side? Dark and depressing and run before you get to know it

Are you actually a good person? Why? Idfk

What are you living for? I’m not sure

Have you ever done anything illegal? Yes lol

Do you like your body? No and this was asked already DEAR LORD

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? No

Ever sent nudes? Kind of

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes

Favourite candy? It goes in waves, but I think rn it’s Crunch bars

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! No I don’t use Tumblr much anymore

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? YES AND MINECRAFT

Favourite TV series? The Great British Bake Off

Are you religious? Does God exist? No I am not and I don’t believe in God, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? I can’t remember tbh

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Why do I have to have an opinion on this???? Who cares????

How long have you been on Tumblr? Oh geez ummm six years I think

Do you like Chineese food? FUCK YES MOTHA FUCKA

McDonalds or Subway? UGHHHH BOTH

Vodka or whiskey? Vodka for sure

Alcohol or drugs? Drugs (as in pot if you count that, not other drugs)

Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes

Meaning behind your blog name? It’s lyrics from an MCR song

What are you scared of? Being raped, being burned alive, drowning, getting shot, and getting in a car accident

Last time you were insulted? Idk

Most traumatic experience? Having the cops called on me for being suicidal 

Perfect date idea? Depends on the mood but I’m down for just snuggling and watching horror movies and/or getting high together but also dressing up and going out to dinner is real nice too

Favourite app on your phone? The texting app bc that’s all I really do. And email I check my emails on my phone

What colour are the walls in your room? Beige

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? YES YES YES and Stumpt is my favorite channel

Share your favourite quote. “Maybe it’s because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don’t want to walk around angry, or maybe it’s because I finally understand. There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don’t want to know, but have to learn. And people we can’t live without, but have to let go.” - JJ, Criminal Minds 6x02

What is the meaning of life? I have no fucking idea I don’t think there is one

Do you like horror movies? YES

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yes, many times, and for many reasons

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? No

Can you keep a secret? Yeah

Thanks anon, sorry it took me forever haha. Feel free to come off anon? Interested in who you are. You seem swaggy.

[yamesutya]

1-154 all of them!! Because I want to know everything!! what the heck! I love you, have a lovely night :)

LMAO ANON YOU CRAZY I LOVE YOU THOUGH THANK YOU HAHA

(lol I’m working my way through them, it’s not quite done yet. ANON YOU BETTER SEE THIS LOL)

1. Full nameSonia Fan (that’s it, no middle name)

2. Zodiac signleo

3. 3 Fears bugs, the ocean, being alone/forgotten/left behind

4. 3 things I lovepuppies, tacos, traveling

5. 4 turns onsnice eyes, a good sense of humor, being open-minded, nicely kept hair (particularly the swooped up style that hector used to have)

6. 4 turns offs lack of communication, unfaithfulness, racism/general offensive behavior/lack of understanding of others, poor taste in sports teams lmao 

7. My best friend my roommate!

8. Sexual orientationstraight

9. My best first datelol ok well this might sound confusing but I’ve never really officially dated anyone (to me this means officially bf/gf), but I’ve gone on a nice date on valentine’s day and the relationship didn’t end up being weird even though it didn’t work out… we just went to the movies and dinner

11. What do I miss
LONDON, all the places I’ve traveled mostly… OOH, the animes I finished recently because I need them to come back RIGHT NOW

12. What time were I born
I actually don’t remember… 

13 Favourite colour purple

14. Do I have a crush
hm, not really, kind of still like the guy I was talking to a while ago but ATM it’s best I just focus on myself

15. Favourite quote
this isn’t necessarily my favorite, but one I’ve always remembered and liked is “the past is in the past, let it fucking GO”

16. Favourite place
london, hands down, can you tell? 

18. Do I use sarcasm
hahaha oh boy do I ever I’ve been sarcastic since day 1

19. What am I listening to right now
irl nothing lol 

20. First thing I notice in new person
their smile, how they carry themselves 

21. Shoe size
teeny tiny, 5-5 ½, sometimes a 6

22. Eye colour
brown

23. Hair colour
dark brown

24. Favourite style of clothing
anything in the color black lmao I kid you not. comfy, clean but cute and stylish I guess, I’m pretty basic tbh 

25. Ever done a prank call?
noooo

26. What colour of underwear I’m wearing now?
I had to check lmao, white

27. Meaning behind my URL
hector is the (albeit problematic but lovable) OG arsenal fav, he’s not the first reason I looked into arsenal, but he is what hooked me 

29. Favourite song
honestly I have a few, my most recent jams have been La Carretera (Prince Royce), Ya Me Enteré (Reik ft. Nicky Jam), Nunca Me Olvides (Yandel), aaand Caroline (Aminé) randomly

lots of latin music since I’ve had the local latin station on a lot lol

30. Favourite band
This Century, Marianas Trench 

31. How I feel right now
a little stressed, but doing ok

32. Someone I love
my parents

33. My current relationship status
single, a little confused and sad, but still sort of ready to mingle

34. My relationship with my parents
I get cranky when I stay at home too much these days, but it’s good so far and I love them, I miss them every time I leave. I don’t tell them enough but I’m super thankful for the life they’ve given me, I graduate soon and I know when that happens and I see them I’m going to be emotional 

36. Tattoos and piercings?
used to have my ears pierced, no tattoos  

Tattoos and piercing i want
one day I’ll probably get my ears pierced again, and I actually do want a few tattoos even though when I was younger I never thought I would. I want some purple flowers on my wrist, and potentially ones involving arizona, where I’m from, maybe my astrological sign or some kind of soul animal, but I’m not sure about those so it’d be a while if I were to get the last two

37. The reason I joined Tumblr
my friend had one and it looked fun lol. and I was just getting into kpop 

38. Do I and my last ex hate each other?
um. he’s not even really an ex since we were still figuring things out. but we’re a bit awkward. we’re just both dumb and stubborn tbh

39. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
i have occasionally

40. Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
it’s my dad, so kind of yes lol

41. When did I last hold hands?
october…?

42. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
if I’m not showering I can get ready in 20 minutes but it’s nothing fancy

43. Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?
yes actually

44. Where am I right now?
my apartment kitchen table 

45. If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
probably my roommate 

46. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
reasonable

47. Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
not at the moment

48. Am I excited for anything?
my sports classes, nervous-excited for graduation, spring break…

49. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
yesss, he is my self-titled gbf actually lol

50. How often do I wear a fake smile?
when I’m working games for my athletics department internship haha, it’s not super forced but I do smile a little harder purposefully

51. When was the last time I hugged someone?
today! some of my fellow senior friends because almost graduating is weird

52. What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else rightin front of me?
it would be real bad, I’m not good at taking things like that. I’d have to leave, if I was drunk I’d probably cry and potentially throw up. this is only because the last person I kissed I really liked, if it was a person I randomly made out with one time it wouldn’t be that bad

53. Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
probably the guy I keep talking about in this, he is a good person who can be trusted, I probably just trusted him with too much of me when we both weren’t ready for each other (ew was that too deep I’m sorry lol)

54. What is something I disliked about today?
being too tired to properly read as much for my homework as I had wanted, boo :(

56. What do I think about most?
at the moment, my future, and also the animes I’ve recently watched 

57. What’s my strangest talent?
I can lick my elbow and I have super flexible/hyper-extended knees (idk are these even talents lmao)

58. Do I have any strange phobias?
that one where you don’t like tons of tiny holes in things

59. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?I’d be lying if I said just behind, but I do like taking pictures since I take pretty good ones, so it’s a little of both. I like attention though so mostly in front haha unless I’m doing dumb things

60. What was the last lie I told?
I said I’d bring in the routes I was supposed to deliver posters to for my internship, but I’m going to making up notes and turning it in to get paid even though I didn’t deliver any, oops 

61. Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
video chatting, I hate talking on the phone for some reason

62. Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
not really, I’m not against believing in them, I just don’t really think about them much

63. Do I believe in magic?hmmmmmm yes…

64. Do I believe in luck?
yeah, I’d say I do, I believe in fate a little at least

65. What’s the weather like right now?
chilly

66. What was the last book I’ve read?
I recently restarted Soccernomics, but I haven’t had time to read again lately

67. Do I like the smell of gasoline?
not really

68. Do I have any nicknames?
not any that have stuck

69. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
I’m a baby, nothing worse than cuts, bruises, scrapes, etc. 

70. Do I spend money or save it?
lol I’m not the worst but I’m a spender

71. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
yes!

72. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
one of my G2 pens

73. Favourite animal?
DOGS ALL THE DOGS, but also otters, lions and foxes, red pandas… 

74. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
watching youtube videos lol

75. What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
um…? no answer? idk

76. What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?


How can you win my heart?


What would I want to be written on my tombstone?


What is my favourite word


My top 5 blogs on tumblr


If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would Isay?


Do I have any relatives in jail?


I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good,and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice!What is that power?


What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?


What is my current desktop picture?


Had sex?


Bought condoms?


Gotten pregnant?


Failed a class?


Kissed a boy?


Kissed a girl?


Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?


Had job?


Left the house without my wallet?


Bullied someone on the internet?


Had sex in public?


Played on a sports team?


Smoked weed?


Did drugs?


Smoked cigarettes?


Drank alcohol?


Am I a vegetarian/vegan?


Been overweight?


Been underweight?


Been to a wedding?


Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?


Watched TV for 5 hours straight?


Been outside my home country?


Gotten my heart broken?


Been to a professional sports game?


Broken a bone?


Cut myself?


Been to prom?


Been in airplane?


Fly by helicopter?


What concerts have I been to?


Had a crush on someone of the same sex?


Learned another language?


Wore make up?


Lost my virginity before I was 18?


Had oral sex?


Dyed my hair?


Voted in a presidential election?


Rode in an ambulance?


Had a surgery?


Met someone famous?


Stalked someone on a social network?


Peed outside?


Been fishing?


Helped with charity?


Been rejected by a crush?


Broken a mirror?


What do I want for birthday?


How many kids do I want and what will be their names?


Was I named after anyone?


Do I like my handwriting?


What was my favourite toy as a child? 

Favourite Tv Show?


Where do I want to live when older?


Play any musical instrument?


One of my scars, how did I get it?


Favourite pizza toping?


Am I afraid of the dark?


Am I afraid of heights?


Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?


Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in theend?

What I’m really bad at


What my greatest achievements are


The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me


What I’d do if I won in a lottery


What do I like about myself


My closest Tumblr friend


Something I fantasise about my ex

Ask me stuff!